Handel - shaken..... not stirred.

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Silver linings

This has been a super crummy day! I mean, really! Let me vent for moment...if I may?

First off - I had to leave a voicemail about some really stupid behaviour. If you are trying to lead a large class of children it stands to reason that you don't need competition, right? Every week, the class teachers sit about 10 feet away from me, if that, and carry on conversations about work, family, etc. HELLO! I can hear you , the kids can hear you... IT IS DISRUPTIVE. I lose my train of thought, at times. You don't think it can derail the 3 and 4 year olds?

Okay, moving on. So on my way home I call my bank's automated line for our balance and such. We are overdrawn by $600! WHAT?

Turns out our insurance company did a major oops - took out two months of payments 12 days early. HUH? And we have over $110 in fees to deal with now.. They cannot re-deposit the funds - they will have to cut me a check. I casually mention - THIS IS A BAD TIME OF YEAR TO TIE UP ALMOST $1000, YOU %$#&**..

The dude on the phone understood and, I think, he was thinking...."damn, I'm glad this didn't happen to me!"

Okay, so then I leave to take my mum Christmas shopping. We use a wheelchair now as it really saves wear and tear on her. Hauling that around is a drag. And she front seat drives when I am pushing.. Snippy did not go over well with me today.

Then I get her back with her stuff and get on my way to get to my daughter. Today was the 2nd visit to the orthodontist so she had to get sprung early... There was a smashed car/semi truck accident not a 1/2 block from the street I had to turn onto to get to her. I had to cross the road and drive through that neighborhood to get to the other side of the mess. CRAP.

Made it to the appointment. Sigh. All good. Bad luck over, right? WRONG.

Pulling out of the office lot and onto a busy street I am, momentarily blinded by the setting sun and CRUNCH. I hit another car who is also in the left hand turn lane. No major damage - some to be sure - but we were okay. Spooked, for sure. And I had left my winter coat with my mother to repair so I stood out in the cold with no coat waiting for the police. AND I did not have my current proof of nsurance with me. I had four and none were the current one! CRAP!

OKAY! DONE!!!!

To recap...I taught three classes of pre-school music and the kids did great. Yup, Blue Cross screwed up but will pay all my fees. My mom felt better about the upcoming holidays and got some good deals. I came across the accident AFTER it happened. 'Nuff said. My own accident was minor, the lady was cool, we were unhurt, the police showed up 10 minutes later and the dude did not issue me a ticket. Not a one.

So...after looking at all this... Good day or lucky day... ????

Hard to tell.

I need a glass of wine.

'Nite.

Mysterious...........

It's a cold and rainy/snowy night. I have spent some time in a lovely hot tub with dabs of snow falling on my head. Sigh. It was lovely.

I sat with friends and family and watched some movies and ate leftovers.

I still sound like utter crap. I sang today and I think I sang myself out.

I found this picture of a cat and it reminded me...a bit..like our Amy. What does she do while we are away?

It's a mystery.

Thanks

Ya know, this Thanksgiving deal... Hmm. Thinking over what I am thankful for. A few years back I wrote letters to some of the people who have really been a blessing in my life. Most were never acknowledged - that wasn't my point - but one of the letters helped solidify a relationship I have had now for years. She finally knows her impact on my life. It changed and charged our friendship and I am grateful for that.

I have written, recently, of my deep , deep unhappiness with another friend. Within 2 days of that encounter of the email kind I lost my voice. I'm still pondering what that means, metaphysically. Any ideas?

For those of you who have reached out to me I say a heartfelt thank you. We haven't talked because of me feeling so low and, obviously, because my voice had flown the coop.

I am thankful to live in a community of gifted, loving and supportive people. Thank you!

And what do you think of my "bird girl"?

Heavy hearted

Life is amazing. How much of a roller coaster we are on. Yesterday I was dog tired but happy. Tonight I am tired because I have been crying all day.

Do people really know the power of words..? Really??

I am also keenly aware this evening that I have lots and lots of self doubt. I have worked long and hard on this but to - seemingly - no avail because someone planted some seeds of doubt today ...


and they took root.

Someone I love and trusted wrote some very cutting words to me today. I wish I could step back and say.."whew, he is really having a crappy day.." No. Instead I took all those words to heart and it was devastating.

I am walking away from a position I have had for the better part of a decade because of those words. And it was also hinted at that others felt this same way about me.

Wow.

And no one has said a thing to me. Is everybody afraid to speak the truth? Is everybody looking for others to rip up and glad that they are not the one being judged? I can't be that way anymore. If you don't like what I'm doing then tell me or let me be.

I believe this. I'd rather be punched in the face in the light of day than kicked in the ass in the dark. And having a combination of both does not count.

Okay, so we all talk, don't we? But about those we love....do we really complain for MONTHS and then let 'er rip? That's cowardice in my book.

Whatever happened to..."we need to talk - pull up a chair".

Where my mind can be at rest....

Isn't this a wonderful picture? It's from the website of the Jolli Lodge located on Good Harbor Bay - that's Lake Michigan in the photo.

Tomorrow night is the opening for "Seussical" and the kids are really having fun with it. We will perform the show 6 times from Thursday - Sunday with alternating casts of adults and kids. Each cast has about 65 people. It's alot of color up there!

Mallie is a Bird Girl - they are the show girl narrator types in the show... Cute.

Then it's onto Oz!

See why I sometimes go here in my head?

Hi Elissa!

Just a little shout out to my pal. Here she is with her hubby, Les. These two people hold a special place in my heart. We met in college and Elissa became my roommate. When the idea was put forth that she would be a great addition to the small inner city flat I was renting, I initially thought.....??? We couldn't be more different! Really???? It turned out to be a moment of kismet in my life and I have been grateful for the suggestion ever since.

These two got together in college and have remained a wonderful example of the institution of marriage. I have always admired the commitment, respect and the love they show each other. I understand it hasn't been all roses for them but they have continued together, working as a team and growing as loving, kind individuals.

In the darker days of my life, they offered the opportunity to be a part of a loving, faith based family. The times we spent together - laughing over dinner, reading the day's bible portion , spending reflective (!!) time on the beach - have stayed with me over the years. Guys, you know how much that meant/means to me. They are fun loving, quietly crazy people and I love them both very much.

Thanks for 25+ years of friendship. I'm shooting for at least that many more!!


God bless you both.