Sigh. It's after dinner, after rehearsal, after getting my child into bed..... Yup, I am a mom. I came to the job late. I spent my 20's doing what I wanted to do. This continued till my mid 30's. I searched for Mr. Right spending the odd night with a few potential Miss Rights... I was looking for the right spark at the right time. Unfortunately, I was at a low point after a lovely relationship with a lovely man - all my gay boyfriends had crushes on him - ended with a tearful goodbye and well wishes. Fish Head Bob was a great guy but he was once bitten twice shy and we were never going to walk into the sunset together. Enter the asshole who became my ex-husband. But I'm not in a ranting mood tonight. Let's talk about Fish Head Bob.
To give you an idea of the two years I spent with him..... And ladies, here's a dating tip.
DATING TIP #1: If you see a cute guy....get his biz card.
Yup, I was at work when he walked in. He was in a suit and I was wearing no makeup. I felt there were sparks and I was feeling at loose ends so I thought...why not? He said if we had any questions to contact him and so....
I CHICKENED OUT AND WROTE A NOTE.
DATING TIP #2: Be charming in a note.
That way, if he rejects you you never have to see him again! Hey, it's easy to blow off a guy you've only met once, right?
So I did. I wrote a note that mentioned us meeting and that I felt there were some sparks. Soooo ...could I buy him a drink? I wrote that if I didn't hear from him I would assume that he was either married, not interested or thought I was an ax murderer.
DATING TIP #3: References to graphic violence get attention.
Sure enough, it was the ax murderer line that made he decide to call. So we met at a local bistro and I looked casually fabulous. He was blown away and I was delighted. He bought the drink and dinner.
Second date.....I am not making this up. ICE FISHING with two other guys! For FOUR HOURS.
This guy is a country mouse - loves to hunt, fish and be active in the wild. I am the city mouse. I wanted to prove I could run with the pack. Right.
Third date was ice skating on an open pond. Okay, so I spent an hour on a friend's homemade rink and thought I CAN DO THIS. Never mind that I have not skated since David Cassidy was on the front of every teen magazine. (Do NOT ask who David Cassidy is. That's what Google is for.)
A half hour into the date I fall and break my wrist.
I KEPT SKATING. True it was about 5 degrees out but I kept going. City mouse! HA!
Next day....not good. A cast and pain and two days later he calls to break it off. Not ready .....feeling too much.... not wanting to get involved....and sorry about the wrist.
Sigh.
Good news. He called back 6 weeks later. Been thinking.....can't get you out of my mind.....can we try again....?
DATING TIP #4: Let them go and if they are meant to come back they will.
Or
JUST KEEP SKATING!
I went on to more dates, more injuries and lots of great sex with this lovely, tormented guy. But ...alas.... He really did mean it when he said (on our first date) "I never want to get married again or have any more children. You?"
DATING TIP #5: Girls, they really do mean what they say and YOU aren't the one that can change him because you are all that.
Bag of chips or not, LISTEN to them when they said crap like that. Say thank you when they buy you a drink and then go home. He is not the one you're going to marry and have 2.5 children with.
Yeah, I knew that but I still dated him for two years. Go figger.
Great kisser though.
To give you an idea of the two years I spent with him..... And ladies, here's a dating tip.
DATING TIP #1: If you see a cute guy....get his biz card.
Yup, I was at work when he walked in. He was in a suit and I was wearing no makeup. I felt there were sparks and I was feeling at loose ends so I thought...why not? He said if we had any questions to contact him and so....
I CHICKENED OUT AND WROTE A NOTE.
DATING TIP #2: Be charming in a note.
That way, if he rejects you you never have to see him again! Hey, it's easy to blow off a guy you've only met once, right?
So I did. I wrote a note that mentioned us meeting and that I felt there were some sparks. Soooo ...could I buy him a drink? I wrote that if I didn't hear from him I would assume that he was either married, not interested or thought I was an ax murderer.
DATING TIP #3: References to graphic violence get attention.
Sure enough, it was the ax murderer line that made he decide to call. So we met at a local bistro and I looked casually fabulous. He was blown away and I was delighted. He bought the drink and dinner.
Second date.....I am not making this up. ICE FISHING with two other guys! For FOUR HOURS.
This guy is a country mouse - loves to hunt, fish and be active in the wild. I am the city mouse. I wanted to prove I could run with the pack. Right.
Third date was ice skating on an open pond. Okay, so I spent an hour on a friend's homemade rink and thought I CAN DO THIS. Never mind that I have not skated since David Cassidy was on the front of every teen magazine. (Do NOT ask who David Cassidy is. That's what Google is for.)
A half hour into the date I fall and break my wrist.
I KEPT SKATING. True it was about 5 degrees out but I kept going. City mouse! HA!
Next day....not good. A cast and pain and two days later he calls to break it off. Not ready .....feeling too much.... not wanting to get involved....and sorry about the wrist.
Sigh.
Good news. He called back 6 weeks later. Been thinking.....can't get you out of my mind.....can we try again....?
DATING TIP #4: Let them go and if they are meant to come back they will.
Or
JUST KEEP SKATING!
I went on to more dates, more injuries and lots of great sex with this lovely, tormented guy. But ...alas.... He really did mean it when he said (on our first date) "I never want to get married again or have any more children. You?"
DATING TIP #5: Girls, they really do mean what they say and YOU aren't the one that can change him because you are all that.
Bag of chips or not, LISTEN to them when they said crap like that. Say thank you when they buy you a drink and then go home. He is not the one you're going to marry and have 2.5 children with.
Yeah, I knew that but I still dated him for two years. Go figger.
Great kisser though.
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