Happy Boxing Day!

Today is a cold day with a peculiar fog that has coated the trees in white. The word "hoary" comes to mind. Weird and lovely.

We had a lovely Christmas albeit alot quieter than I had planned on. It seems that alot of people around us are dealing with death. A rather abrupt statement, I know.

My friend and her partner had planned to spend the day with us on the 25th. She got a call that her brother had passed away so they were off, Christmas Eve, scrambling for plane tickets. Another friend, who lost her mum in April, lost her dad today. Yet another friend who was supposed to spent some time with us on the 25th found out that her ride from the airport had been touched by violence. A shooting in a liquor store took this man's cousin to the hospital where he is now in stable condition, thank God

"Stable" condition. Haven't we all been in that condition at one time or another? No room for us - we feel - in the inn and we are forced to the "stable" of our thoughts. Interesting juxtaposition, eh?

Although it was quiet we were happy and we ate - as a friend has said - "like we was going to the Chair"! My mother, gourmet cook to the end, made prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, roasted potatoes, glazed carrots and a parsnip/apple puree. Way too yummy and definitely NOT South Beach friendly. Sigh, back to Phase One for me come January 1st.

My husband presented me with The Book II. This one contains all our wedding photos (well not ALL of them) and before, starting where the other one had ended. (FYI, my husband proposed to me last Christmas Day by making me a book that ended with "Will you marry me?")

I did not get to see my friends on Christmas but they were in my thoughts and in my heart. I am blessed to be with my loved ones today. Amen and amen!

My life at this moment

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off of him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything , that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 ... on one condition" Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.

She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said ...

"Clean my house."

Are we there yet?

I want to run away and join the circus. Is it in town this week? Pity. I would sign up in a heart beat.

Ever feel that way? Sure you have. We all feel like this at some point or other.

Today was not a good day and I really want to drink a tall shot of tequila and go to bed.....or out here in this photo and look at the lake and not talk to ANYONE.

After all....tomorrow is another day.

Currently on my desktop

Isn't this a breathtaking photo? I lifted it from another blog from a place called the Jolli Lodge. This place is located on Good Harbor Bay approx. 6 miles from Leland, MI. This is just down the beach from where I vacationed as a child. I love this beach and have posted about it many times. I love this shot! Thanks for having such a lovely site to go to and dream abit!

Another really fun site is http://www.thecoveleland.com/livevideo.html

This is a live camera set up looked out over the Falling Waters Lodge in the heart of Leland. You can actually move the camera and check out what's doing in Leland. Way fun.

Hope your Christmas preparations are coming along nicely! (Thanks DD for the heads up!!)

Let it snow!

'Morning all! We are gearing up to head out this morning and it is SNOWY! We've gotten some 5-6 inches and they are predicting like 127 more or something. We live in the Frozen North and you'd think people wouldn't freak so about the weather. Ah well. Enjoy!!

Thanks JAPC!

'Morning everyone! Here is a shot of my church , Jefferson Avenue Presbyterian, located in Historic Indian Village and built with money donated from the Dodge Brothers family. This was taken on Scottish Sunday when everyone who has ever owned a pair of plaid socks comes once a year. This amazing ceremony/service takes place the Sunday before Thanksgiving so mark your calendars for 2008. It is truly a blast. With 12 bagpipers this year BLAST is exactly what I mean.


This church means alot to me. I have been a paid singer in churches for the past 20+ years. I have sung in Presbyterian, Christian Science, Unity, Episcopalian and Congregational churches and never have I been moved to join the congregation. This place is special. Sure, it's beautiful. Sure, it's big. But it is really the people I love there. Our pastor just celebrated 25 years of service there. In fact, our church has only had THREE senior pastors in its 80+ year history. This is rather unusual.

I love the fact that my gay friends have found a home here. I love that the music is incredible. Not only in the services but in the free concert series established. I love that our community has embraced so many different people from all walks of life. I love that it is trying to help the people of the City. I love that our new assistant pastor is a woman under 30! It is a cool, loving place where complete strangers will say "Good morning! There's a seat right next to me!" I found a new life and a new husband there. This place really helped me when I was going through the dark days of divorce. I love that my pastor actually said that sometimes a marriage needs to end. Alot of my friends have been counseled to hang in there for the good and bad but it took my pastor to really speak the truth to me and let me know it was okay to think the thoughts I was thinking. I was married there TWICE. My pastor once said that he does do "do overs" if it's a good match. Thanks Peter!

This place embraced me when I lost my dad. Both of my parents remains will rest here in the Columbarium, when the time comes. Dad is already there. It's a love filled, Christ filled place and I am grateful for the community. Thanks JAPC!

I've been MEMED!!!

Okay...sometimes I am a little behind things. I JUST read a friend's entry (from the end of November!) on her blog about 8 Weird Things About her..... and had the idea passed on to me me....

Let's see....

EIGHT WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME.......

1. I have a fear of toilet lids being left up. It just seems like everything will fall in there, ya know?
2. I love to go to the movies by myself and come out feeling like I "look" like the lead actor because I have walked in their shoes for 84 minutes or whatever.
3. I hate when people call people who play the flute a "flautist". No idea if it is correct or not.
4. I hate loud people who are rude to wait staff. Maybe that's not really weird but it pisses me off and makes me want to slide under the table.
5. I am a lotion addict and can't stand it if my feet or hands get dried out. UG!
6. I don't like spending time on my hair but I do like to play in the makeup if I am going somewhere spiffy.
7. I can't stand horror films about gore, murder or zombies but I love to read Stephen King and Dean Koontz novels. When I say read I mean sit in a chair for four hours and devour the book. I just read CELL by Mr. King and it was SO creepy!!!!!
8. I often have the urge to speak with an accent when alone in store or restaurant.

Okay.... Now if you have read this then you have been memed!

Sigh

Hi everyone! I'm a bit more in a "glass half full" mode today. Thanks V. and K. for your kind words. Yes, V. it did help!

Today it's a $$ day - that is, worrying about where it will come from. I know alot of us are there - especially in this part of the country. When I get kinda worried about things I have to go back to the old litany.... My house is warm and dry, I have an abundance of clothing, my loved ones are still here and (mostly) in good health. I have food in the fridge and no one is coming to take my car in the night.

Sigh. Still it's hard not to worry, ya know? That's why I posted this shot from the closing night of our last show. It's a happy moment and it reminds me that I am loved. Now THAT'S worth remembering.

Have a good one!!

My parents

My dad is gone and my mom suffers from terminal cancer. That being said, I want to say that my mom and dad are not those things to me. Death, cancer...all bullshit. I am in a battle right now for a grip on where life is leading me and all of us, for that matter.

To the grave.

My dad went on ahead and I miss him so much sometimes. My mom is in a holding pattern that, at times , is very difficult to watch. I wish my parents could be together again. It's not that I want my mom to die but I know how she misses him too. And it's not just my mom that's dying, right? We are all inching there. Geez, if you read the news some of us are running at breakneck speed towards it!

So, today, I cried because I am tired of thinking about "It". Tired of worrying about "it". When will "It" come and take my mum? Will it be a good thing or a bad thing? "It, It, It". I hate "IT"!

Here we are in Winter - okay not officially! - and it is the season of "It", right? Death and decay, right? I claim to love this season. The stillness and the beauty is awesome. I want to embrace the inner quiet of "It" and not be so afraid to look "It" in the eye. I want to stop being sad and remember that there is transformation and rejuvenation after all the death and decay. The opposite of suffering is peace and into every life a little death must fall..... or something like that.

Are you struggling with someone who is nearer to "It" than to you? How do you cope with it?

Me ....in snow!

Here I am in the frozen north - loving it! This was taken a few years back - self portrait obviously - and before I decided to let Mother Nature color my hair.


There are alot of people who complain about our weather. I have to say I find it very comforting to have distinct seasons. Christmas always feels a abit off when it's not "white". I know that I could change and celebrate on a lovely, hot, deserted beachfront...large drink in the hand...but it would not touch all the memories and depth of feeling one accesses at the holidays.


I'll stick to snow.

Luckily I married a north woods kind of guy who loves it too. Anything gets boring after awhile but so far, it sure is beautiful out there!

I am still ME

What an amazing experience! I spent a good part of the weekend at a theatre festival. This was a statewide gathering of Thespian troupes. I saw several student main stage shows - a couple of them were amazing! I took four really good workshops on acting, the LeCoq 20 movements (more later on that!) and mime. I really loved it and got back to that part of myself that studied acting and that really was still a theatre geek!


I am a singer by profession but the lure of the theatre brings all of it together. I forgot how much I loved "the work". I miss it. I miss working with others who are really on top of their game. I work with lots of kids and adults who have fun doing theatre (which is cool!) but few who are willing to really do the required work to make something really happen. It may be time for me to go back and take some classes and play abit. This photo was my old resume headshot way back in the day.


This weekend I realized that this girl is still inside of me.

WHAT A RELIEF!!

Cool old town

This is an old (looking!) shot of Leland, Michigan. Cool huh? If you haven't spent any time in northern Michigan you really are missing some extraordinary, beautiful countryside scenes.

I am trying (!!) to divest myself of stuff tonight. I have pulled out a laundry basket full of clothes to give away, donate, whatever and I am still short of my 50% goal. I really want to cut my life way, way down. Ever look around and wonder....where did all this stuff come from?

Ahhh, the simple joys of yesteryear! Lord, save me from my STUFF!

My child's letter to Santa this year

Dear Santa,

I know you have a hard time so I won't make a long list. I want Felicity and Felicity clothes, mittens, a toy bat and a book at my reading level. I hope you make it. Will you pray for Christmas for me? You are a nice person I bet.

Love, M.

P.S. I have been good. I want to thank you for making peoples' spirits rise when people hear about you. My stepdad's birthday is December 3rd.

Amy, the cat

This is our cat, Amy. She is a love cat and I do not know many like her. She could go for long stretches with minimal food but there is one thing she HAS to have.

Love and attention.

Yup. She actually licks the fur right off when left for a few days. She's done better this holiday. She only took off some fur on her forearms. (Do cats have forearms...?)

She could also be called a Papoose Kitty as she would do well to be carried on your back all day long.

A love kitty, that's for sure. Know any?

Family Tradition

This is another shot of my daughter in the home of my in-laws. They live in a charming old home in a charming city and this was taken when we visited last Christmas. We are here now for Thanksgiving and it's a lovely snowy day. We are staying out at the lake in a cute house that looks out over water and shimmery snowy trees. It's kinda like being in a tree house. It was the home of my husband's grandparents and still houses a Steinway. My honey has enjoyed practicing and helping my daughter master "Happy Birthday". We've been there, at the lake, the last couple of mornings, drinking coffee and looking out at the water and admiring the inches of snow covering railing and branches. The sunrise over the lake was amazing this morning. We saw three deer out the back windows a couple days back. This kitchen is on the second floor and the whole back wall of the kitchen are windows looking off into woods. A great place to wash dishes!

Here's hoping you are enjoying "down time" with family and friends. See you soon!

That's My Baby!

Wanted to post a shot of the show - my baby is second from the left in front in one of the blue costumes. We had a super time!

The other shot is of my lovely husband - he is on the left of the trio. He is my other "baby". I am blessed. I have alot to be very grateful for. You?

And, of course, I want to wish everyone a very blessed Thanksgiving.

Enjoy and hug everybody for me!

Being a Mom

Here we are, the Traveling Yahoos, on our way to Chicago.


We closed our run of "Joseph" last night and can I just say what a pleasure it is to do a project like this with your child? Seeing her take a bow on stage was so much fun! I never thought, way back when I was pregnant, that this little person would be so much fun to hang out with. She's a gem and I love her.


'Nuff said.

Unlikely Pals

The theatre group I work with is a mixture of so many different people from all over. I can't even say a love of theatre is a bonding element because some of our kids are so little they barely know what's happening! Our current cast is made of of 6 to 60 year olds!

Working on a common goal seems to be the deal. Presenting a show brings so many different talents together. Some I have never really appreciated until I got involved. I have usually been the person on stage and so have never really looked at what the costumer does or what the producer has to do or how crazy it is to run a sound board until the last 4 years. Now I get it!! Wow! I now realize how relatively easy it is to "just" get up on stage and do the gig. We have a super bunch of folks who work on our shows and many do it on a volunteer basis. That is so cool!

So THANK YOU Tech Folk. You ROCK!!

Opening Nights

Opening Night for "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"! We are finally here!

I have been privileged to be a part of many Opening Nights and all are exciting. Sometimes they are exciting because you are so ready and wanting to jump on the stage. Sometimes they are "exciting" because you are just a hair off and you know you have be to ON your game to pull it off! I had one opening night, with this group, when I was sicker than a dawg! (That's me in my curly days!)

The Fifth Avenue Floy Floy was opening in a (now defunct) supper club in Windsor for a week long engagement. I woke up, the previous morning, with a nasty bout of stomach flu. The next day - still so sick - I called the head of the group to tell him I was sick and had been for 18 hours. His reply? "So you're telling me you need a ride to the gig?"


THE SHOW MUST GO ON! And on it did go. A neighbor came over to help me dress and my boss helped me down the stairs and into the car. I traveled with a silver bowl that night, just in case. He said..."No problem, we'll just pull all your solos and lead work. Piece of cake!"

I walked on that stage and we started the show. During a scat solo from our tenor, Vince, our fearless leader Terry leaned over and said.."How ya feeling?" "Crappy!" I replied with a big smile on my face. Next thing I know ALL the songs I sang lead on were put back in and my solo stuff too! I just kept smiling, dancing and singing...all the while plotting how best to torture Terry for maximum pain and discomfort after the show.

We headed off stage and I immediately sat down hard, all the flu symptoms resuming. "Terry!" I snarled, "Why did you do that? Why did you go with the original show order???" He replied, "When I asked how you were feeling you said 'Happy' so I figured you were okay. You looked good!"


"I WAS ACTING!"

One thing that is interesting to note. Those 40 minutes on stage were the best I had felt in two days. I was IN the moment and I had no time to feel lousy. My mind suspended the goings on in my nether regions and I sang - albeit with sore tummy muscles!

Now tonight I anticipate no such problems. Upset tummies will be the result of the click, click, click of nerves. Once on the stage, the music, colors and sensations will overwhelm us and we will LIVE in the moment for an hour...or two.

So ride the coaster and ENJOY!! See you at the show!

IN the moment

Yahooo! When was the last time you did something like this? It's been a year for me. We don't seem to have as many leaves on the ground this year.

Time seems at a bit of a premium, right now. Busy, busy with our new show opening this week and all the hustle bustle of dress rehearsals and school outreach shows. Whew!

One of the kids was complaining yesterday about their costume being itchy and feeling sweaty. My reply was WELCOME TO SHOW BUSINESS! The kid said something about the glamour and when does that start? I replied, nope. It's mostly itchy and sweaty. The things that look so good to us like being on stage and having fun comes down to this. It's hard work. It's long hours. You'll spend most of your time itchy and sweaty!

I always explain a performance is like a ride on a roller coaster. There's that long line to wait in. Maybe you are waiting with a friend and they are complaining about it being hot or how they are thirsty. They are being pains in the neck right about the time you see the sign that says.... FROM THIS POINT 30 MINUTE WAIT.

Finally you arrive at the front of the line and get into a seat. Then the click, click, click up the ramp (the worst part for me!!) and you start to yell at your friend THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!! I HATE ROLLER COASTERS! GET ME OFF!!!

And then WHOOSH!!! You fly, you scream, you laugh!! And, just as suddenly, you are at the end of the ride and climb, on shaky legs, out of the car....

And right back into the line to ride again! You are pumped with adrenaline with the notion that YOU MADE IT! YOU LIVED!!! It's enough to want to endure another long line. More, please!!!

Interpretation: The long wait in line is the process of rehearsals, lessons, memorization, etc. Long and boring but completely necessary. The click, click, click of the ride is equal to the ghastly stage fright you get before you go on stage. The feeling that you really don't want to do this after all! Then WHOOSH! The thrill of preforming and being truly in the moment. Followed by the applause and the knowledge that you did not crash and burn but triumphed!! It's enough to make you forget all the work and makes you want to go back into the long process again.

So you see the WHOOSH is about a blink of an eye in the whole operation. That's why performers are really crazy! We live for the WHOOSH and we will work our bums off to make sure the WHOOSH gets better and better.

How often are you really IN the moment?

Ahhh..the Theatre!

This is me in "My Fair Lady" many moons ago. I drop this in because I am running out the door in 10 minutes to a rehearsal of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at which I will act as Vocal Director and Stage Left Manager. Theatre is in my blood, like it or not. I love that my daughter is in the show too. Yup, we are a family of hams! Have a great Sunday, ya'll!

My Fair Lady

This was my car in my senior year of high school - and the boyfriend too. And yes, me with long hair. That hair was a major deal when it got cut off in 1985. No "Locks of Love" back then. And now even giving your discarded hair has become political. Someone told me that that organization makes you pay for a wig instead of giving them to you. Wigs are expensive, I do know. My mother lost all her hair when her first chemo run made hers all fall out. ALL her hair, mind you. Something you don't think about. There are other companies out there with some major funding and they are able to give their wigs away - especially to kids. Something to research of you are considering taking the plunge. When I cut all my hair off I could not donate it because it was color treated. Crap.

Anyway, back to my jalopy. This car was super fast and had the biggest interior ever. Don't even remember it's make and model. Sad, isn't it?

Much cooler than the cars I see kids drive today. It had character and it built character. Too much too soon these days, if you ask me.

I am reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls and it is amazing! I highly recommend it because it shows what the human spirit can endure - at the hands of this woman's parents no less - and still go on to better things. It's like a car crash, this book. It is revolting and yet you really can't look away. What some people do with their kids and their ideas of how to raise them, wow! These parents weren't abusive, per se. However, their life and life style was abusive. Does that make sense? Along the lines of Frank McCourt's books of growing up in Ireland with messed up parents.

Read the book. And enjoy the weekend!

Referring back...

This is the gorgeous old lady that I was salivating over in the previous post. Isn't she a knockout?? Directly below, that is....

This is a dream of mine to live in one of these magnificent houses. Or, barring that, to make friends with someone who will let me stay there!

These two handsome gentlemen became friends of mine through slightly crazy circumstances. This is another in a series of "Listening to that small voice in my head and trusting my gut" episodes. These Italian men will forever be etched in my mind as "Bimbo" and "Blondi". "Bimbo" is on the right and I met him at Heathrow Airport on a long layover. My flight to Roma had been delayed because of a strike - so what else is new in Roma??? I had several hours to contemplate my fate so I did what everyone else was doing...I had a cup of tea.

I need to go back in this story to fill in some info first. I had fallen for a Lebanese man who was in the Navy stationed in Naples, Italy. He had invited me to visit and so I did. However, after booking cheap, unrefundable tickets he got cold feet. After polling my friends I decide to go anyway and see Roma. I had a friend who wanted to see the U.K. but was dicey on going alone. So we hatched a plan that I would go to Rome and spend a week then she would join me. We would train it to London and spent my remaining week travelling via rented car that she would pay for and I would drive. My flight was from Rome to Heathrow so I would just get on the plane at Heathrow and fly home. All was back on track and I was excited. Melancholy but excited.

It was October - Columbus Day actually! - when I left for Italy. I got off the plane and waited around until I heard the flight had been delayed. I had not booked a room in Rome as ALL the tour books said SLOW SEASON = NO WORRIES on getting a room. I was sitting having tea when this nice, older English gent started a conversation. I reminded him of his daughter. Nothing weird here he was just a good guy. We ended up talking on the plane - now delayed some 4 hours!! When we arrived in Rome is was dark and I was a bit frazzled. His good friend Blondi" would be picking us up and could they give a lift? Sure! We get in the car and this quiet gentleman drives like a MADMAN!!! In retrospect he drove like a typical Roman. It was the most harrowing car ride of my life and I have been in a NYC cab. (I realize that cabs in S.E. Asia may rival this. I have not had the pleasure.)

These gentlemen had a series of long Italian names and so went by these nicknames. Easier for a young American gal to remember.

Anyway, we arrive at my choice of pensione and "Bimbo" inquires for me. Turns out he is ITALIAN! As most upper crust Italians learn English English I was totally blown away when he greeted his friend in rapid fire Italian!! Turns out there is no room at the inn - or any inn on the street for that matter. These lovely gentlemen drive me around till we find a place that does have rooms and he books me there. A great location too! I am only a couple of blocks from the central train station. After making sure I am settled they insist on taking me out for dinner the next night.

That's where this photo comes from. They picked me up and drove me around the city at night - breathtaking! They showed me homes (palaces really) where their families had lived until Mussolini decided he wanted to live in them and turned the families out. We went to a great restaurant where I never saw a menu. These men ordered everything. Then off to the gelato shop for exquisite dessert. At the Spanish Steps we ran into a very handsome couple who I later found out where Mr. and Mrs. Ambassador to some country - really mucky mucks. They all talked about their servant problems and their house in Nice. I began to realize that these men were in the upper class of Italians and why I never inquired into sons I'll never know. Too broken hearted about Assaad I guess. Anyway, it was a wild week and I will tell more about that in upcoming posts.

The bottom line of this long ramble is to say if you feel that things and people are okay you are probably right. I have only been proven wrong - traveling - once. These men helped me and made me feel at home in the Eternal City. I highly recommend you see Rome before you die.

Way before you die.

Smart Ass - Part Deux

I love when people comment on this blog. (Thanks Karen!!) It really is great that someone is taking a moment to walk in my head with me ....! That's what this is. I am taking to heart what I have been reading - a great book called "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg. She writes about all the things that have been floating in my head...."composting" is what she calls it. The idea that we sometimes have to "study awhile" about a subject before we jump in. (That was a phrase my southern grandmother always used and it fits here.)

I have wanted to write for awhile and Ms. Goldberg says so go ahead and WRITE THEN! So here I am. I use photos to jump start my juices and that's why I named the last entry SMART ASS. The picture of me pointing to that advertising icon - the Rice o Roni sign. Total smart ass. If someone could hear the voice(s) in my head their first comment would be "What a smart ass"...

This photo is of me, again in SF some 20 years ago, having an orgasm on the steps of my favorite house on Haight Street. It is a really lovely old girl, I have to say. I had the chance to peek in the doors and I wish I had had the balls I have now to have asked to come in for the full tour. NOTE TO SELF: Always ask for the full tour. What are they going to say? No? SO????

I have to tell you about two films that are MUST SEES for the Smart Asses out there. One I just finished watching and I am still so high from it. "LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE"!! Must see this and I think Version Three should have been the ending, for the record. Check out the extras on the dvd and you'll understand. (Don't you love all the outtake/deleted scene/interview/making of crap they put on dvds these days??) I am so glad I missed this in the theater because they would have asked me to leave. I hooted and howled all through this piece. Flippin' brilliant.

Second MUST SEE film. "KNOCKED UP". Again, glad I never saw it in the theatre. Brilliant performances because they play real people. I mean, that's what's so funny about this film. I know these people. Watch it and see if you don't agree. SOOOOO good. And if you have had children then double bonus. The delivery scenes will make you weep from laughter.

I have to say....in the same vein....you have to see "FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN". These are three films that will stand the test of time because they all come from a place of reality. That's what makes them so incredibly insightful and hilarious.

Why I may just have to add them to my Top Ten list of movies.

Smart Ass

This is a shot of me from some time back. (My Roger Daltry look!) My best friend, Michele, was living in Berkley, CA. at the time and I visited her. It was my first trip to California and we had a super fun time. It was important for me to do some dumb things like get a shot of the Rice O Roni sign......The San Francisco treat! Remember the commercial?

We really ran around San Francisco and did it all. What a blast. Now, some 20 years later, my friend Michele is back in SF and I hope to visit again. Funny how life comes full circle every now and then!

Love the weather!

It's a windy, rainy day and I love it. It's my English blood I guess. I could go for a little less wind but I love the rain. Whew, it's really howling out there! This photo is another one looking over Lake Michigan at Empire Beach. Lovely, isn't it?

I have many memories of this beach in this sleepy town. It always seemed like we were the only ones on the beach. I know that the waters of the lake can be a bit chilling however the sand was always warm. The lack of people made the beach seem remote and magical. We vacationed for YEARS on Lake Michigan in a little cottage in Good Harbor Bay - right on the Lake. We would see the occasional walker but that was it. It was our Lake and we could enjoy it privately, it seemed. It greeted us mornings with a stillness that was so serene. We splashed in the afternoon waves and collected it's Petosky stones offered up. In the evening we watched the sunlight shine across and highlight the color changes until the lighthouse between the islands switched on. Then it was time to watch the sun disappear behind it's edge. We always waved good night and saluted the sun with our after dinner coffee from a picnic table on the bluff. Sometimes we'd have a fire and listen to it's lulling sounds. It was always a treat to open the windows of the cottage so we could go to bed with caressing sounds as we slid into dream filled sleep. It was our Lake.
I'm very lucky that my husband grew up with this same familiarity with Lake Michigan. "It" really feels like an old friend. I have told "it" numerous secrets, hope and fears. "It" has helped me think through problems and forgive and forget. "It" helped me get through those tumultuous early teen years when no one understood me. "It" was always there to listen and never judge. "It" was so beautiful, to boot. I love it and fear it at the same time. I know it holds alot of secrets I will never understand. I know it has claimed lives too. It's magical, that's all. Do you feel that way about a place? I know I'm a bit of a romantic but what about you????

Where I wish I was

This is a photo of my daughter on the beach of my childhood. In fact, this could be a photo of me! I've spent alot of time on this beach looking out over Lake Michigan. We Great Lakes folks are a breed apart. I understand those ocean lovers out there but my heart remains here in the fresh water waves of the North.

Luckily, I married a man who loves this area as well. We share a geographical love...sigh. This area of the world really speaks to us and we feel so "at home" here.

I am so glad it "speaks" to my daughter as well. Where do you let out a sigh of relief? Where do you feel at peace? Where does your mind wander when you catch a scent on the wind or a sound triggers a thought...?

Right here. To the beach I land.

Happy wanderings!

Paddle your own canoe

Sigh. It's a perfect Fall morning. Last night, we sat by the fire, listened to music and read. A lovely, quiet family evening. My daughter is old enough now to enjoy that kind of time together. And this morning we fired up the woodstove to keep the good feelings flowing. I do love this time of year. It's kinda like holding your breath....before the whoosh of winter and the hustle bustle to stay warm and moving to keep on top of the holidays. This time between Halloween and Thanksgiving is ...well....the quiet before the storm, ya know?

Enjoy!

Today, I'd have to say "Not so good 'cause you're not here."

This is a photo of my dad. He died over a year and a half ago and today he is really in my thoughts. Don't know why. I just miss him. When I think of him I don't remember him as an 83 year old. Maybe more like in his 50's. Isn't it funny how some people are stuck in your mind at different ages in their lives? My friend Michele is in my mind as a 25 year old. My old boyfriend, Daryl, is stuck back in 1981. How do you see yourself? Every surprised when you see a recent photo?

Today I learned that a woman passed away of breast cancer. My friend George helped her in her last year and was there when she breathed her last. F##K Breast cancer! Glad she left so many people who will remember her. Sorry I never met her. She was 54.

Kiss those you love today. One day you'll only have memories and no face to kiss. Good thing we can make those we love live forever in our heads and hearts. My fondest memories of my dad will always be what he would say when I'd stop by to see him. I'd say "How are you?" and his reply was always "Better now that you're here."

Love you, Daddy-o

Another Halloween Gone

Thanksgiving decorations up yet???

AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Have a nice day!

One last night.......

Tomorrow the frenzy begins!!!!!

Ya got three days!

Creepy, eh?

He's swimmin' wid dah fishes now, eh Boss?

Ooohhhh noooooo

Getting closer....!

Five more days!!!

I love Halloween!

I love that fact that Halloween can mean so much to many different people. Enjoy!

To sell my soul.....or no?

This is a representation of my frame of mind, at present. You see, I need to make more money but I am tied by a couple of factors. Number 1: I have a mother who is in her 80s and who has terminal cancer. She does not drive and relies on me to be the door to the outside world. Number 2: I have a young daughter who attends school outside our district so I have to drive her every day back and forth. Number 3: I have a varied resume that may baffle most companies. Number 4: I have a loving and wonderful husband I wouldn't trade for anything who is also artistic and therefore, relatively poor.

I have worked several kinds of jobs and one I did for 6 months was the zaniest. I don't really want to go into it here but, suffice to say, it is not at the top of my list. There are some perks - no travel, no transportation costs. The down side is there is an element of selling my soul. I know your interest is piqued, right? Tough.

I'm sure you all have had these moments where you need to decide what is important to you. What that is for me is having a flexible schedule so that I can be attentive to the needs of my mother and daughter. Can I stand on my head and whistle "Dixie" for six months...? Sure, if I need to.

Being an artistic person can be a drag. Sure, it's all good to be talented and have people ooh and ahh you when you perform. Who doesn't love that? But getting enough scratch together to pay the health insurance....ahh there's the rub as Will S. once wrote.

So, do I do what I do on my own twisted timeclock or do I grab a job at Starbucks and make low money but score health insurance? That is my dilemma. I didn't say it was rocket science I was dwelling on today.

Sigh. Life is hard and demands great effort.

Period.

Sigh...memories

This is one of my favorite places on earth. These are the remains of the castle in Tintagel, England. Tintagel is on the west coast and it is the supposed home of the legendary King Arthur. The building ruins are on a finger of land that stretches into the ocean and is divided in the middle by waves crashing on the rock and wearing it away. Basically, it's a bit of a hike to get where I am sitting - in the below picture - but SO worth it. I remember that it was "closing time" when this was taken and I seriously thought..."I could stay here all day.. What are they gonna do? Hike up and yank me out of there?" Of course, being British it would be a very polite encounter.





I am English as well. My mum was a war bride who married an American serviceman during WWII. She came to this country on ship with other brides all bound for new lives as American wives. Gee, that kinda rhymes, eh? Her journey is the basis for another posting. More later.





Anyway, this spot is so beautiful that these pictures can still invoke the calm and peace I felt as I looked out from that wall. This was the same view the 13th century inhabitants had. What thoughts went through their heads, I wonder? Did they ever feel the need to get away from it all? Hmmm. I think about stuff like that. What did Lady 13th Century think about as she gazed out over the sea?

When the conquering Normans reached the westernmost land of England they heard that the ancient seat of Cornwall's kings had stood atop this soaring headland, surrounded on three sides by the ceaseless surge of the Atlantic. So in propaganda terms it made sense for Earl Richard of Cornwall, younger brother of Henry III, to build a castle on the spot where his legendary predecessors had held court. There was no strategic reason for the choice, as there had been for the other Norman castles in Cornwall, Launceston and Restormel - and Earl Richard rarely stayed there.

All I can say is it's a great destination and I highly recommend making the pilgrimage.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Hallo everyone! I love Fall. You? This season makes me think about my past and makes me feel I need to organize myself. One of those "time is of the essence" kind of feelings.

Summer you are living in the moment. Being in the sunshine on a beach - you are really there. Summer is kinda short around here so we tend to try to do alot and make the most of the warm days and nights. Spring is the proverbial awakening after the long sleep of winter. Spring is a feeling. Taking off your coat for the first time in months. Wearing short sleeves WAY before it's really warm enough to do so. Winter is the time to reconnect with friends and get close again. There always seems to be a bit more time to linger over coffee when it's Winter and there's more snow on the way. I do love Winter.

Fall...ahhh now there's a complicated season. A season of change, a season of death, a season to get ready. Hey, I'm only writing things from my viewpoint! That's how I see it anyway. It's a time to be a bit more introspective. Funny I chose to start a blog in Fall.

Coincidence? I think not.

"What are you gonna dress as...?"

These are my loves last Halloween. My kid is counting the days - today it's 15 more days till Halloween!!

That was a big topic of discussion for most of the month of October when I was a kid. Remember? I dressed up as a witch, a gypsy, a monk and the Band Director on the S.S. Titanic, to name a few. What did you chose?

How do our costumes manifest our inner vision of ourselves? My kid has chosen a costume called "Countess of Darkness". Whoa. My honey loves trains and so he chooses to be a train engineer from year to year. I haven't dressed up much the past few seasons. Maybe it's time to pull something out.

What about a female Dalai Lama costume?

It IS the little things!

Who said..."Don't sweat the small stuff?" Anyone know? I'm not sure you want to worry about them but it sure does pay to appreciate them. I mean, really, isn't Life just a bunch of "small stuff"?

Look at this photo. It's small stuff...a Saturday morning drinking coffee and reading on our porch. These are two loved ones. Is it sheer bliss? Nope. Does it give me a warm feeling inside to look at this and remember the cozy factor? You bet. It's a small moment in time but it is big in that it is a small chunk of the iceberg that is the love I feel for these two. The iceberg that includes our home and our life within those walls. Hey, aren't icebergs fragile????? Sure are.

One thing I have learned in this walk, so far, is that life is made up of those BIG moments. The ones that really alter our DNA. Those, thankfully, are few and far between. (Unless you are a crazymaker and then it's a different story. Ever lived with one of those? I have.) It's the little moments when you look at your loved ones and they look at you and you feel the connection that says "you are seen, you are acknowledged and you are affirmed." Sigh. We all want to be seen, right? Take of the mask and look at me. How often do we do that in our day? Rarely, yes?

A friend lost his family in an awful car accident two years ago. A drunk driver took out his wife of 20 some years and their two wonderful, intelligent boys - both under 13. Hit them at 70mph as they were at a dead stop. Now this man, this former father and husband, is rebuilding his life. His DNA certainly altered. Today when you meet this man you get the feeling that he really SEES you. He knows - no grey there - that THIS MOMENT is really everything. No need for b.s. with him. He has no time for it. This man has taught a community of people to look around more. To SEE more. To pass on the love his boys had for life and people. Even strangers. That's hard in a society that teaches kids to not trust a stranger.

I invite you to look in people's faces more often. To pass a spark of life on. It's cool to get it back once in awhile too.

Thanks Gary.

Miss America

WOW! It's October and I missed The Miss America Schlarship Pageant..again! It used to be that I would watch the program every September. No tv show now. Gee, is it on any local cable?

This is from the mid 80s. I was in the Miss Michigan pageant and here we are with our chaperone. I am on the far left. This was one of the more unofficial poses...

I was first runner up that year. Missed going to Miss America by "that" much. I lost to someone who smashed glass with her feet. Whatever.

The next year I was performing in Atlantic City at Caesar's Casino - right next door to Convention Hall - on the Boardwalk. I walked over and saw one of the preliminary nights - there are three before the final night. I met the reigning Miss America that year - a former Miss Michigan - on the final night after the broadcast. Cool lady. We would have competed against each other but she chose to wait another year and not come up against me. She was kind enough to point that out to the folks around her. When I complimented her on her FABULOUS gown she said that she had to give it back the next day and that she would sleep in it! HA. Cool lady. Kae Lani Rae Rafko.

Great program. LOTS of scholarship money. In fact, it is one of the largest scholarship foundations for women in the world. I walked away with money to pay for lessons and classes and a piano. Mostly nice, hard working, smart cookies. It's a shame that the program got too tame for television.

It's a cool Fall day here in the Midwest and I have to say I am loving it!! The color in the trees may be a bit disappointing but I always find Fall so invigorating. To me, it's the "let's get back to business" season. After all the laid back summer months it's that crisp air that speaks to me about new opportunities, a new school year and the upcoming holidays when we reconnect with family. It's sweater weather and I really love that! I am in the process of changing my body through diet and exercise so I have this image of the sweater as a cocoon. My body will be wrapped in long sleeves, scarves and coats for the next few months and, come Spring, I will reemerge as a butterfly. For now, I am happy to snuggle down into the covers in the morning to savor the last bit of body heat, enjoy the changing skies and figure out ways to prepare lowfat/no sugar comfort foods!

Amy the Cat

My cat thinks she's a stuffed animal. Can you pick her out of the group? She's on the far right.....

So many folks believe that cats are standoffish and can take or leave the human touch. Our cat thrives on it, demands it and disfigures herself when deprived of it! Yup, she licks her fur off when left alone too long. In short, I have a needy, slightly neurotic pet.

Sigh. I suppose it could be worse. She could tear into the garbage or pee on the floor.

Animals do have a way of calming you down. At least, that's my experience with cats. We have a gerbil too but it's not the same. Sure, she's cute and all but it's not like she'll stand for any cuddling. Amy is a first rate cuddler.

Love of My Life

This is my husband. I love writing that word. You see, I was always sure I would be married and have children. My parents were married 60 years and were only parted by death. I took the dive once before with disastrous results - with one exception. My daughter. I had really given up on the idea. Then I met Stephen and I remembered all the warm fuzzy feelings that had been locked up and shoved under the attic beams. I never thought we would end up together. He was just the lovely thought in my head when the world was very dark for me. He is an amazing mixture of the old and new. He is also a wonderful stepfather and he is most certainly the best life partner for me. Yes, we do have some differences...think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Bottom line, the chances of us making it to a 60th wedding anniversary are slim to nil but I'm going do the best I can to get close to it. I love him very much and I like him an awful lot too. That's the reason I said yes.

Ladies of the Night ;)

I really think that our friends have become the new "extended family". Gone are the days that Aunt Mildred and Uncle Ernie lived next door and your sister and her family bought the house down the street and Mom and Dad lived with you. I am blessed with some amazing friends. I hope you too are so blessed. I have a group of women I call my Three A.M. Friends. These ladies are the ones I would elect to call with some dire need in the middle of the night. Two of them are in this photo below. And, of course, I would expect them to call me if they needed to hear a friendly voice in the wee hours. I lost my dad a year and a half ago and it was truly my friends who were there to keep me walking and talking. Them and my lovely husband. He wasn't my husband back then. I haven't even told you about him yet! One of my friends was/is on the west coast and couldn't be there but she and I burned up the phone lines something fierce and I knew she was there/here in spirit.

So here's to you, ladies of the night. The best kind. Thank you.