Mal at the wheel!

This is us at Cedar Point celebrating Mallie's TENTH birthday. At this point, she is already into "doing something" for her birthday and the gift thing - not so much. Last year, we celebrated by taking a friend and going to the DIA.

Next year...?

What do all these people have in common?

ME!

That's what all these people have in common...they are all in relationship with ME,

My family and friends mean so very very much to me. Why then do I have days like today?

Things can go very wrong, at times, and depending how your brain is that day...you can feel so all alone, right?

Today, my car died. Just died. I had been doing alot - checking in with my mum who is just home from ten days in hospital. We've been readying the house, back and forth to the hospital, sweating over tests and such. That has been stressful. They were checking her out after a series of things.. a blood transfusion, extreme shortness of breath and looking for lung cancer. The latter turned out to be negative, thank God and the Universe for that.

I have been very worried about my mum and seeing that she is comfortable. That has been a real strain over the last two weeks. CANCER..yup it can scare you ...bad.

Bills and the original phantom - the IRS. All running through my brain at every turn.

My husband working out of town - guess I really do like him around. Sigh. I do miss him and forget how he can really ground me when I am spiralling.

And then my car.....kaput. Dead....as a doornail. Hey! What does that mean anyway??

I had a real breakdown today. Too much....everything! Time to go back to the drawing board and look at life as IT IS not as I fear it is.

My mother turns 84 next week. Her oncologist told her that he was ready to sign off for Hospice eight years ago when she was first re-diagnosed at advanced Stage 4. That would have been alot of Life missed.

Our IRS bill was dealt with and they were very cool. Actually WAY cooler than we expected. Burden lifted.

My car....no idea but I will not freak over that. And hey, it gave me the chance to spend a little time with my husband. He is my soulmate and my best friend and I am blessed.

My daughter turns ten on Thursday. What an amazing decade it has been. One full of tears. One full of fears....most never came to be. And one full of amazing love and laughter, music and fun.

I am blessed with wonderfully talented and loving friends. Laughed with three of them this weekend. Really laughed...and sang...and carried on as my grandma used to say..

I am truly a blessed soul. Sometimes I think I get bad shit thrown at me to get me off by myself to worry and moan about the what ifs. Truth is....the shit can even smell sweet if you approach it correctly!

HA! Just try to keep me down! (But not right away.....please? I need a little rest first.)