The Last Day of the Year.

Amazing stuff from my friend, Jay, who passed away less than 2 weeks later from a massive heart attack.

This has been an interesting year. A littler quieter than some and full of surprises....some bad and some not so bad.

Per usual, we are out at the lake and looking out over snow and ice. The outside thermometer reads 6 degrees. This Christmas Day I did a roast beast and Yorkshire pudding and the group of 10 loved it. We had a lovely time of it. I am always happiest when the house is full of family and friends.

Michele and I were able to see DHOOM 3 at the Star Southfield and loved it!!! What fun memories and yes, I did see both Mal and I several times!!!!!

Tonight will be cold out on Front Street watching that huge Cherry drop down and into a new year.

Friends and family will be swirling around me... Mum and Dad, Kimber and Jay among them.

The best we can wish for in 2014 is to do one better than 2013. Be a bit more kind, a bit more smart, a bit more aware and be a bit more open.

God bless us, everyone, and Happy New Year to you and yours.

If I won the lottery

Okay, so all of us have seen the news and know that the Mega Millions Jackpot is something like $550 million dollars, right? Today is Monday and I really need to finish packing up my family's gifts. I need to make the pilgrimage to the post office to mail off all the goodies and I know the line will be long.. So I am blogging.

What to do first? Call my tax man and put him on retainer. Call my lawyer and set up a trust for my daughter. Practical, right?

Offer my house to my next door neighbors. I have thought of this a lot. Really nice family that moved here from Sri Lanka and, several years ago, adopted a lovely little girl from within their large family. I would want to move to a larger home that would accommodate friends and family and work.

Work? Well, I would want to build a patronage and that would take some space. Ideally, I would like to  have a concert/recording space to use and offer to others. There would also be a small staff I would like to gather to work on researching the various charities and needs in our state and our world. Never having had a lot of money in my life I would like some of this lottery money working to change, not only my family's life, but the lives of people who need that leg up.

It goes, without saying, that I would fund some medical trials to find a viable end to breast cancer.
Maybe fund projects such as this..?!

I would, most certainly, want to buy property on Lake Michigan - Good Harbor Bay if at all possible.
(This place I would buy, outright. I know this place well.)

Then there are my family and their financial pressures.  What a joy to be able to sit down with people you love and say..."What are your needs but, more importantly, what are your dreams?"

I would love to have a house and land to be able to buy art and help sustain artists that need to be seen.

I would have an extremely cool weekend planned and invite those people in my life that I want to say thank you to.  Rent a castle or something amazing like that...... Hmm... an island instead.....I am looking at the weather here right now!

And then there is travel. Sigh. Having those experiences I have dreamed of all my life and sharing them with  my daughter and husband. Kathmandu, Hong Kong, Machu Picchu, Bali, the Loire Valley, Lhasa, Budapest, Istanbul, Petra, Cairo, San Jose (Costa Rica), The Seychelles Islands, Cape Town, Buenos Aires, Nimbin (AU), Sapporo, Quebec City, Lima...  A full passport, for sure.

Okay....enough. It's time to get back to more mundane things. I hope whomever wins tomorrow night will have just a bit of a global mindset. After all, how many things can you buy before you "buy" dissatisfaction?

Personally, I will keep my fingers crossed.

Bliss

As the title suggests, "bliss" is the emotion of the moment. The emotion is defined as "complete happiness or spiritual joy." Some sources explain it as "extreme ecstasy or extreme happiness". For me, bliss is a more gentle, softer emotion. The word comes to mind as I sit here, on a couch, drinking pumpkin spice coffee and looking out over a winter wonderland of snow, sunshine and the blue of the lake beyond. It is the day before Thanksgiving and, as usual, our family is gathered, up north, to celebrate the holiday and unplug. (Funny, as I am currently plugged in via my cell Wi-Fi hotspot!)

"Bliss" was how my friend, Jay, usually signed his letters and cards. He passed away on Saturday, 11/23 at the age of 50. He was out in the woods on the first day of Deer Hunting Season. He was found next to his ATV, a deer lashed to the top or side or something. It would appear that he died from a massive heart attack but I don't know for certain. The irony here, of course, is the fact that Jay had directed and produced a documentary about hunting.

I was talking to my husband, this morning, telling him "Jay" stories... Not my personal memories but memories of his stories. The meeting of the Dalai Lama in London wearing Packer sweats....the party at the Playboy Mansion.....the crazy feeling of being a celebrity at Sundance when his film, "Employee of the Month" premiered. Then there are my recollections of our time together doing summer stock all those years ago in little Clinton, Iowa. Jay had been cast as Marcellus in "Music Man" and, every night, him and Tom stopped the show with "Sadder but Wiser Girl". Many nights spent laughing, talking and laughing some more. He was such an intense young man and felt things so deeply. Although we were only to meet up a handful of times over the next few decades, we kept in touch via his wonderful letters, phone calls, etc. I treasure a VHS tape sent the Christmas he was first on "In Living Color". He literally took a video camera along with him and showed off his new L.A. apartment as well as filming a day on the FOX lot, even including backstage during a show taping.  Today the word "bliss" rings in my ears and I know it's him saying.."it's okay." It's gonna take awhile for me. I can only imagine that he entered the gates of Valhalla and was greeted by many that were waiting for him to join the party.

Much more on Jay here......  And here is a reel, shown at his memorial in L.A., of some of Jay's work.

A favorite Jay Leggett story of mine...was one he told to me and alluded to in the last paragraph. He was in London directing "Tony and Tina's Wedding" and being put up in a hotel in the posh Mayfair district. Upon hearing a commotion in the streets, he looked out and saw a procession of Buddhist monks and people filling up the street in front of the hotel. He wandered down, in Packers sweats of course, and stepped out the front door and right up to the Dalai Lama who was entering. Of course he was tempted to introduce himself using a Bill Murray bit but, his Midwestern roots kicked in and he was respectful. He laughed, as he told the story, that a friend had travelled to Nepal to meet the DL only to miss him or be turned away or something.. Jay met him in Packers sweats.. Only darling Jay.

My mother passed away on 11/22/09 and we had to plan her funeral just before Thanksgiving that year. Jay will be buried on 11/27. I will always be able to remember the date now of when he left us.

A Summer of ....? - Part One

Whew! Here we are. The last Friday of Summer "Vacation". Labor Day weekend is here.

Listening to "Moses and Marco Polo Suite with Yo-Yo Ma... Lovely!  I was on the front porch for a bit but the humidity chased me off.

So I am here, in the living room, with Miss Amy sprawled across the rug looking very, very relaxed. She lays on her back and bears more than a passing resemblance to a sea otter floating across the ocean trying to open a sea urchin!

I digress....Summer "Vacation"...yes. The word "vacation" is defined as.."A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation, especially one with pay granted to an employee." Okay, let's look at this.

First off, my husband and I are, for the most part, self employed. You should see the pile of 1099 forms at tax time. No pay granted for time off here. After having spent time in the cubicles and offices of the business world, I have to say that I do like that fact that every day is different, for me. I miss the camaraderie and the gathering around the coffee station to talk over the previous evening's events or to catch up on the latest gossip. Sometimes I miss the clockwork of being paid on the 15th and 30th of every month. I don't miss the morning commute or the office politics or the dictation of my time. Trade- offs, to be sure.

So I wanted to take a moment and account for my time - my summer time - here - to remind myself of why my life is as it is and why, for the most part, I continue to chose to go on as I do.

The month of June was a whirlwind of activities. Mallory turned 14 and we celebrated in a very laid back fashion. I remember how my mother always made every birthday feel special and that has passed on to me and how I want my daughter to feel. What does a 14 year old love to do? Go to the mall, of course!!! So Mr. Stephen and I took Mal to the mall and we shopped. First stop was the food court and then we hit all her favorite stores. Now, I have to add here, we do almost 95% of our clothes shopping in resale stores. Mal and I have a lot of fun finding treasures. The concept of getting a lot for a little and recycling to boot has helped her understand and appreciate value vs. consumerism. As much as she loves to visit the mall with friends she is also a bit put out by the cost of things - I am too! The mall represents a bit of freedom from parents and a chance to hang out and be. I get that.

Okay, so we had a very nice evening together and she proclaimed it one of the best birthdays ever. She did have a birthday sleepover on that Friday, complete with ice cream cake and a birthday breakfast for the gals the next day. That was also the day of the 8th Grade Party at school which I was able to work a few hours at. It was a giant outdoor event that was well planned and the kids really had a great time. It was a special birthday and I was very satisfied that her "well" got filled that week.

I write of the "well" of love, support and family spirit that keeps us going through the worst moments of self doubt, betrayal or disappointment. My parents did a fine job of that. As I get older and hear more stories of friends and family I now see that that is, quite often, not the norm.

Marching Band began to, quickly, take over the summer plans. Mal joined the Color Guard in May and marched in her first parade on Memorial Day. She starts as a Freshman next week. What a terrific intro to her high school career. June saw a three day "mini-camp" for the Marching Band and she jumped in with both feet. It will be a great group to see her over the hump of High School Daze!

 

 

 

A Summer of ...? Part Two

Continuing on with the month of June..... We started our usual round of Summer Theater Camp. This year was different as we changed venues and were at two locations. According to the Sky's the Limit website we worked with 187 kids ranging in age from 4 - 15 years old. We had six performances and, hopefully, sparked some children to continue to seek out new experiences and to not be fearful of new environments nor meeting other kids. It was a very successful season and we worked well, as a team.

We had a unique family experience, mid month, to attend the Detroit Gold Cup Boat Races. We were on the lawn of an amazing house - neighbors on the block include the Mayor of Detroit and Kid Rock - and were right in the thick of the action! Man, those boats are LOUD!!

Mal on Memorial Day. First FHSMB parade!

I travelled to the Thumb with my longtime gal pal to be a part of her nephew's graduation party. It was a fun trip filled with a bit of drama, lots of laughter and excellent food.

On the beach in the Thumb
 

And then we went right into the 4th of July - the traditional mid-point of the Summer Season. Up north we went and met up with my brother-in-law and his partner and my in-laws. Cherry Festival in Traverse City and we hit the midway!

Cherry Festival 2013
 

Three of us on the Detroit River for the Detroit Gold Cup Races

Mal headed off, on the 4th, with her dad to the U.P. and a family reunion, of sorts there. Watching the fireworks over the Bay is something we look forward to every year. I missed Mal like crazy but I knew she was also watching the spectacle overlooking Lake Michigan and knew she was having fun.

Returning refreshed, we jumped back into Summer Camp and Marching Band practices. Stephen landed a big contract (!!!!) and continued the treks back and forth to Saginaw, working as a team on another big project there. Mal and I had the chance to stop and see the progress. The church is amazing and we enjoyed seeing the place.

I continued to teach and to work the camps. My studio was able to put on a lovely recital at First Presbyterian in South Lyon at the top of August. I was scurrying around and neglected to take a single photo - drat. It was a lovely morning, nonetheless, and I was very proud of what the singers presented.

August was also the point where we parted company with Mallory. She headed off to Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp to study cello and have a great orchestral experience. This is her second year and she had a great time.

Our girl just after placement auditions

Camper and Alumni!

Stephen and I enjoyed some great beach time, both with friends and alone, and also managed to squeeze in a romantic bed and breakfast weekend as well. Here is the link for this lovely destination!

Breakfast at the Hexagon House!

My love and I on the beach in Ludington

So Mal had her session at Blue Lake and we reconnected with friends, had cocktails and some relaxing dinners on the porch.

Got in some Summer Reading as well and here is what I got through....

"Vampires of Hollywood" by Andrienne Barbeau. If you are old enough to remember "Maude" then you will recognize the name. A fun romp tied into lots of real locales.
"When Madeline was Young" by Jane Hamilton. I have read a couple other novels by this author, all very good.
"22 Britannia Road" by Amanda Hodgkinson. This novel is really amazing and follows two Poles that each get through the horrors of WW2 in their own ways. Amazing read.
"In the Company of the Courtesan" by Sarah Dunant. A very interesting look into a 16th century Italy and how one woman strives to survive and make a name and a living for herself and her partner. A real thought provoker of how certain women struggled to work the system....
"My Antonia" by Willa Cather. I can't believe I am just getting to this classic. I highly recommend it!
"The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri. This was made into a movie, as stated on the cover, but I have not seen it. A very good read about cultures colliding.
"Nightwoods" by Charles Frazier. A strange read but very compelling.
"Barefoot" by Elin Hilderbrand. I very much enjoyed this novel about two sisters and a friend who spend a summer season on Nantucket Island. Very interesting characters who are all at a crossroad, of one kind or another.
"Bossy Pants" is a really fun romp through the life and mind of Tina Fey.
"Mr. Murder" by Dean Koontz. I have read so many of his books that I was happy to see I had missed one. Always fun!

At the end of the Blue Lake session we met up with Steve's parents to enjoy the final concert of the season.

March of Carmen

Amazing Grace arr. Elliot Del Borgo

Declarations, Jeffrey Bishop

By Loch and Mountain, Robert Smith

Fiddler's Fantasy, Ron Sadlier

Viva La Vida, Coldplay

Overture to Nabucco

 

We had a quick lunch and we were off to take Mal to Marching Band Camp at Camp Pendalouan. This is a YMCA camp set on Big Blue Lake. It was a really lovely setting for the kids to spend the week working their tails off to learn more of their competition set for Fall competitions. Steve and I got back home and continued to work the week until it was time to return, again, to the west side of the lake to get the Malster. We got a chance to see a display of the band and all they had learned in their week together. Mal was tired but happy - and CELL PHONE FREE for three weeks! Wow. Her first question to me...after a hug ..was "Did you bring my phone?"

 

We got in the car and drove up to the big lake for a wedding of a childhood friend of Steve's. This couple has been together for 10 years and decided to make it official. They chose Twin Lakes State Park and it was a perfect setting!!

All in all, it has been a good summer filled with fulfilling work, reconnection with family and friends and time on the beach. Lake Huron, Long Lake, Blue Lakes - little and big - and the Mama of all, for this trio, Lake Michigan. Hope your summer has been a time to kick back, even for an evening, and ponder the wonder of Summer in Michigan...or wherever you might be!





 



Rain, rain...you can stay

Lovely morning, here on the porch, enjoying a thunderstorm as I sit and do some work. It was a terrific start and now has been reduced to a sprinkling. The humidity has risen so it's not as comfortable as at the start. It's quiet and I am really enjoying the sounds around me...the rain, the birds....sigh. As quirky as my old house is there is nothing like a quiet morning on my porch - our expanded living room in the summer - to slow my pulse rate and get my heart and head on the same page

Still on the FM Diet (read below for explanation). Down 20 and it is a slow process. However, I am determined and steadfast in my regimen - mostly. I have discovered I need to add in a bit of a sweet, now and then, and a glass of really good red wine, on occasion.

There has been good news on several fronts this morning. First off, Stephen's first major project, under the his new LLC, has begun and that is very exciting. Secondly, my best friend, Michele, has landed a dream job after a long torturous year of  extreme ups and downs. Here is her blog.

And it looks as if my father-in-law may be one step closer to being cancer-free. Now THAT'S exciting.

Oh and I hear there is a new Prince in the Realm!

See? Good news all around.

WEDNESDAY

Could not think of a better title, guys, how lame is that?

I am on the second month of the Fast Metabolism Diet. I did not lose the 20 that the book claims...but I lost over 10!

Yesterday was a lovely day to be out. My long time gal pal, "Q", and I did a 3 mile bike and a 3 mile walk. Terrific!

I am really looking forward to SPLURGING on Moomers Ice Cream over the holiday. It will be worth holding out for the real thing!

Place holder

The List of Future Posts

NURSE JACKIE - WATCH THE SERIES.

One month down. Start of another 4 week program. Down 10.

Poison Ivy - from June 3 till today......ug!

Choir has finished for the year.

Mallory at mini camp already for FHS Marching Band.

End of the year concerts for Encore and Titan Srings.

I want to have a reading with Theresa Caputo. And coffee.

The Summer Reading List.

Michigan weather

HA! This morning it is clammy feeling out here. Still cool but the humidity tells you it's gonna be a day that you stay out of the sun. Sigh.

Feeling great, still! Hot flashes are at a minimum and my energy level is much better. Problems with bloating and gas are also gone. Wow.

I am still working to get on an exercise program but that will come. Had a lovely 4 mile walk with a gal pal of mine but am still struggling to get it done EVERY DAY..... Sigh.

So far, so good!!

THE W I D E VIEW

The Memorial Day Parade was so much fun. Mallie was marching with the FHS Color Guard. The morning was lovely, perfect weather. The afternoon...not so much. There was a BBQ for the band and the newbies (us!) were asked to come and did not have to bring anything. Next year, that will change. Afterwards, we headed home to change and put on heavier clothing. We headed out the door and over to a friends' house for a gathering.

Lots of YUMMY things there and I was able to skirt it all. I don't feel any intense cravings so it makes it easier to "Just Say No!"

Came home to warm up - the rain had begun - and enjoyed a quiet evening together. Nice, really nice!

SUMMER 2013, here we come!

Merry Memorial Day!

Stopped with the counting stuff as I am on WEEK 2! Program has been great so far and my body feels very different from one week ago. Glad I took the plunge.

It is early and I am on the porch having breakfast and listening to the birds. My phone says it's 45 degrees and I do need a robe and a blanket to be out here but it is worth it.

Happy start to Summer, y'all!

Day 4

Howdy!

Today is an infusion of protein! Yum!!!

I have started to look around the Internet for more blogs on cooking and working with a gluten-free premise.

I made my own almond butter tonight because tomorrow is Phase 3 when I can have healthy fats. I am so looking forward to a piece of (gluten-free) bread and almond butter!

Something else I now love is Good Earth Original Sweet and Spicy Herbal Tea Blend. Wow!! It says, on the box, that it is caffeine free and that there is no sugar added. If I drank this, and had not read the box, I never would have known!

Here is a great blog......http://glutenfreegirl.com/new-to-gluten-free/

This "diet" (HATE THAT WORD) is really opening my eyes to a whole new life. Bring it!!!

Day 3

Feeling more "with it" today and the effects of the caffeine withdrawal are fading. I  think I feel a bit more energy.

Dinner was cod with a lime-cilantro-red chili marinade, some sauteed mushrooms with onion is a balsamic vinaigrette and steamed kale.

Good stuff. I figure if  work is slow then I can cook and really take this "fast metabolism" diet out for a real spin!

So far, I really like it!

DAY 2

Well, it is true what they say about caffeine withdrawl.... Yesterday was okay but today I feel kinda crappy. Headache, a little depressed, achy. Wow. Really? Makes me think I should do a little caffeine cleansing on a regular basis.

I really love coffee so saying goodbye may be a bit too extreme but pulling way back..? I'm thinking..maybe yes.

This do over, rev your system diet (HATE that word) is a system clearer, for sure. No wheat, no dairy, no soy, no sugar and no caffeine. Well geez, when you look at it that way it sure sucks!

For several years I have been reading books by Marilu Henner and thinking....oh I could never do that. But, when I stood back for a moment, that IS what I am doing. She is ten years older than me and have you seen this woman? Remember "Taxi"? Yup, that's her. She looks ten years younger than me.

Now I do want to add here also ...that I am just as vain as the next woman.  I am doing this because I hate how I feel and that is reflected in my face and body.

And now, in my 50s, I am starting to look beyond and watch all the older folk out there who can barely move around. Yikes. That did not happen overnight!!!

Side note - watched the last in the series "The Big C". A-MA-ZING. Do yourself a favor and see if you can buy or rent the series. One of the very best I have seen. I am a little biased because I lived through my mother's battle and death from breast cancer so it really hit home. However, today, can anyone say they have not been touched by this disease in one way or another?

Would have been better with a cup of coffee......grrrrrrr.

Walking past the line

Okay....here's the deal. We all want to CHANGE something in our lives, right? We agonize over how the process will  start. There are so many obstacles. Can I follow through once I start? What if I fail...? That final thought stops the process and we go back to complaining about X and Y. Sound familiar?

Ending a bad relationship or marriage
Taking control of a messy, unorganized house
Speaking up and talking to that person you need to say something to
Making a budget and getting control over finances
Controlling your weight
Starting an exercise program

Yup, all these things are hard to get a handle on. How do you draw the line in the sand? Sand...why sand? It shifts constantly?

Or....do you wake up one morning and realize that, somehow, at some time, you walked over and past that line? You have pondered and "composted" the idea for awhile and now you are sick and tired of being sick and tired....yup. That old adage.

So...all weekend I have been hot flashing like crazy. Yikes. And it's not even summer yet. I am going to be miserable all season....all seasons! This is not changing. It is getting worse. I had a good 6 months off from this. Poof. Done! Cool! (Pun intended!) This Menopause stuff is a lark. HA! HO HO! I am finished with it all, free!

Right. Oh and the weight gain. Right. Tried South Beach. Loved it. Dropped 25 pounds. Gained it all back. WHAT? Crikey.

Today I am embarking on a whole new deal and I am going to work on blogging about this, every day, to keep on track with what I am doing. I really need to get a handle on this or spend another summer - year - of feeling miserable, wearing clothing sizes that I find whacked and not taking care of myself. That last one is the kicker. I have a wonderful family and I want to live into my 90s and THIS ain't the way to do it!

So...over the line I have gone. Hadn't planned to start this program today. Hadn't done the shopping, didn't have the foods in the house...etc. ALL CRAP. Old thinking. Not doing that.

Scrounged around and found enough to start off. Will go shopping later. Done. Started. Let's go. No more crap.

This morning I did have a small cup of coffee. A no-no according to the Fast Metabolism diet but it was my last hurrah. No Splenda...and little half and half.. Not good for the UNWIND portion of this phase. Tweaks the adrenals too much. Time for a café vaca.....ouch.

Strawberries for a snack. Not ready for breakfast
Breakfast: a cup and a half of wild rice and cut up strawberries. - low on the recommended fruit!
Lunch: Cantaloupe, brown rice and adzuki beans with some blood orange balsamic vinaigrette
Snack: An orange and snap peas
Dinner: Crockpot filled with cubed B/S chicken breast, wild rice, chicken broth, canned tomatoes, chopped onion, chopped mushroom, garlic, basil and oregano.

And we're off. In this program, Phase I  and Phase II are  two days and Phase III is three days.
I can do that. Mixes it up. Four week program. I'm gonna give it a whirl. You can do anything for a month, right? Maybe, I will love it.....  That's my hope because I need to probably do three rounds of this to get more comfortable in my skin.

And.....I'm off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. One more thing. I saw a man at church yesterday who is changing his life in a big way. He is the incredible shrinking man and he is looking great. It's a long, slow process and he has a ways to go but the empowerment you can see in his eyes. Exciting. Jumping on that bandwagon!

Musical Season!

Good morning all!

Hope this finds you well! May I be the first to say ..HAPPY SPRING! Okay, I know I'm early but today I need to remind myself that we are close! It's confirmed as it's high school musical season - the true harbinger of spring!

Saw an AMAZING production last night at Walled Lake Central. They are doing "Hairspray" and I have to say it is worth the price of admission! This is a great show with a great cast. Go see it! Next week we are planning on supporting our local high schools - North Farmington and Farmington High - performing "Grease" and "Beauty and the Beast". We are blessed to have so many opportunities in our area to celebrate the arts. Watching the heart of the kids last night onstage - it was overwhelming.

This was in a program from last week's choir concert at my daughter's school...

Why do we teach music?

Not because we expect you to major in music,

Not because we expect you to play or sing all your life,

Not so you can relax,..

Not so you can have fun...

But rather,


So you will be human. So that you will recognize beauty. So you will be sensitive.

So you will be closer to an infinite beyond this world.

So that you have something to cling to.

So you will have more compassion, more gentleness, more good.

In short...more life.

Of what value will it be to make a more prosperous living unless you know how and why to live?

That's why we do what we do, truly, every day.

Thanks for reading.

Triggers

I love theater and movies. I love to get so lost in the story lines and the performances it's like I wake up when I leave the theater. Like I have been lost in other stories that, somehow, have some threads attached to me. I guess, deep down, they do. As art reflects life it also reminds us that we all experience the same emotions, highs and lows of life - a collective consciousness that is like a low wattage current flowing and encircling the planet. Sometimes those threads trigger memories or remind us of deep longings that may never be quenched. Sigh.

I just took myself to a movie - in the middle of the day! Made me feel just a little like I was skipping class for some odd reason. It was a little birthday gift to myself as tomorrow is...well another one. I saw "Silver Linings Playbook". Really, really great and I can see why Ms. Lawrence won her Oscar.

The theater is only a few miles from home and only a mile or so from where I grew up. I might mention here that only two days ago I was lucky enough to go see the musical "Next To Normal" which is also fabulous and also deals with a family dealing with bi-polar disorder.

Okay..I digress for a moment... The music is FANTASTIC and I would HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend seeing this show. As good as "S.L.P." was this musical was AMAZING. Okay...back to it.

Anyway, having dealt with people in my life with this disorder and watching it pull at their lives....it is funny that I have had these two cultural experiences back to back. One - it is great that people are finally talking about the issue of mental health and illness. Two - how much it can touch the people around the patient. Three - and this is the real reason I guess I was drawn to writing today.....we are all so important to each other.

So I am driving home and thinking over the film. The strange family dymanic is intense but the love is evident. Then I started to think, as I was near my childhood home....  Fifty one years ago, today, my mother was alive and pregnant. My father and my brother were waiting for me to appear. Our little house was near fields and all that I was driving through was not there then.

Then, out of the blue, it hit me in the solar plexus chakra how much I missed my family.My parents and my brother (who is alive but grown up like me and living far away) and our little house and our family life. How little things were important, like birthdays, and how much I wanted to walk back into that house and look back into my own childhood for just a moment.

It was an "Our Town" moment, for sure.

I haven't cried over my parents' death in a while now. Mum's been gone since 2009 and Dad since 2006 but that pain felt like it was an instant ago.

And now I think about how special my mum always made me feel on my birthday and I think that there is a little piece of me that is gone. It's not a big dramatic thing, this piece, but I can feel it's sharp edges and it can cut deep....deep. That piece broke off when I became an adult orphan and  - okay bear with me  - I felt released into the wild with no protection.

In fact, after sitting in a rather cold movie theater - I was dressed warmly  - the outside air was so bone chilling. I mean really cold. Did the temperature dip while I was inside? No idea.

Okay, I digress in a big way. Hey, that's what blogs are for, I guess...

Bottom line...art, theater, movies and music continue to thread us all together so that we are really not all alone out there. It reminds us that every feeling we have ever felt has been experienced by those we love and those we will never meet. Kinda blows that whole 13 year old angst I used to feel. You know the one - no one understands me and I am all alone.

Bull.

Just go to the movies. You'll see how wrong you are.

2013

Happy New Year folks!

And so it goes... We just got a mailing to remind us about HIGH SCHOOL ORIENTATION at the end of this month. Yikes!!! Class of 2017 here we come!