Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Weird Space

I'm in a weird space. (Say, anyone ever wonder why the I before E rule doesn't apply to "weird"?)

Anyway....! Ever have this feeling..? A shame ball in your stomach? And it just shows up. You have not done anything bad per se. Yet, this feeling covers over you...

I recently found a friend of mine. Someone I was very close to 30 years ago. I have thought of this person, from time to time, and wondered...what is she doing these days? Found her. On Facebook even! I sent a quick message...no reply. Through my post another friend contacted her - reply!

Now somewhere in the ether of my youth there was a time where this person had suspicions about me that were false. I think the reason she has not responded to me is...she still believes I acted against her...with her then husband. Oddly enough, I had a great working relationship with this man because we did not have any "involvement". Here's the kicker...I am feeling shame..! Why? Because her incorrect assessment diminishes me. Yet, if it is a basic untruth...how can it?

So what is it? I think there must be some "shame ball" (my made up concept) that is planted in each of us. For some, it remains small and only occasionaly makes it's presence known. In others, it grows out of control like a cancerous tumor. I know the emotion comes from my head but I feel it in my gut. Like I am about to called to principal's office. I cannot control my friend's thought process - obviously. I guess this emotion is mixed with a dusting of sadness. She has not thought about me and therefore, our friendship all those years ago was not as close and deep as I remembered it to be.

Now who had the incorrect assesment, eh?

Monday, January 23, 2012

Closing night of "Joseph..."






Well we have closed yet another show. "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" was a success for many reasons. The company branched out to another location and we enjoyed being in a real theater! The Berman Center for the Performing Arts was fantastic and we made the most of the experience. The cast had a great time, the crew did well and we will be back!

The best part of it was the chance for Mal and I to work together. I was the Stage Left Stage Manager and she was my right hand man..er...uh..gal! I am blessed to share these kinds of experiences with my blossoming tween! The last photo is of Cathy, one of our narrators and my "sister" and Lauryn, our creative director's daughter. Thanks ladies!