Amazing footage

For many years, my mother donated money, in my honor, to this wonderful organization. Enjoy and, if you are like me, shed a tear over the sheer beauty of the moment!

For my mum...

The last two scenes of "Gypsy"

Rosh Hashanah

Self-examination and repentance is an integral part of what makes us human and able to move in our world. I will be thinking, today, on how I can be better and to think back over those I have wronged.

I am sorry if you are one that I have wronged. I was probably listening with my ears and not my heart. I am working to be a better listener to what you say ...and to what you leave unsaid.

Last day of Summer

Yup, it's Labor Day! And. true to Michigan's changeable weather, it is a full 30 degrees cooler than Friday or Saturday. Whoa! Mother Nature is really reigning us in to gear up for the start of School and Fall.

I spent the early morning, as I have for awhile this summer, on my porch. With a cup of strong coffee in one hand and a good book in the other ("In Spite of Myself - a Memoir") I sat with my yoga blanket over my knees and drank (!) in the cool, quiet air. So still. Sigh. Really, really nice.

I thought about my parents and how they loved to sit out here. I miss them. I thought about my friend, Kimber, who would have caught up to me tomorrow - her 49th birthday - and how we will visit her grave instead of having cake together.

I thought of the summer happenings...

My first garage sale and how fun (and work!) it was. Shared it with my friend, Nicole, and how that really jump started our friendship.

Music Sunday when the JAPC choir rocked out with some amazing music and how wonderfully my husband conducted and kept us under control.

My new glasses - after alot of years - replacing my little blue number.

Seven weeks of Summer Theatre Camp at the Barn and out in Milford.

The fun of hanging out with the Warner Clan over the 4th of July and all of us at the Quonset - inside and out! The boat ride with Kori and the cousins. The fireworks over Traverse Bay. Hanging with Adam, Mal and Steve at the Lake. Meals at Rolling Farms Cafe, Flap Jack Shack, Sleders and Amical!

MOOMERS!

Mallie and I being part of a film - "I Hope You'll Smile" - and hanging out with the Edwards Family. What a nice evening of crying! (We were part of a funeral scene.)

Stephen playing L'Inferno at the Traverse City Film Festival and the feeling of walking up to the theatre and seeing his name on the marquee!

Mallie starting cello lessons.

Anna's mum's funeral - all those amazing quilts displayed that her mum made coupled with a really lovely service. Add in the wonderful afternoon spent with Jeanne and Kathie at the St. Clair Inn.

Doing "Dream Dinners" with Mallie and making 48 portions in 2 hours! Fun.

Attending a little going away party for Julie C. and enjoying the company of our church family.

Women's Sunday and the lovely evening spent at Marieke's house - finding out what I want to be when I grow up! Totally jamming at 80!

Stephen and I,in concert, in Indian Village's Centennial Park on a lovely, breezy afternoon/evening. Eleven songs back-to-back!!

The lat three days of August with Mal and Q: Torch Lake and sleep over at Kori's. (The two of them tubing, Q. kissing Max and a long slow drag across the lake, feeling so deliciously relaxed that I put slugs to shame!) Showing Q Leland and eating my final "South Shore on Pretzel bread" of the season. Hiking to the beach of Pyramid Point, coming to the quiet, deserted, pristine beach, skinny dipping in broad daylight. (My child says she is scarred for life and we have the pictures to prove it!) Moomers, of course. The Woodland Herb Farm,(Just south of Northport. A place in business for 37 years and I think I have stopped there almost every summer of those years!) shopping at Jaffe's. Then toddling over to Black Star Farm Winery for a great lunch at Hearth and Vine with Kori and Tony. Yum! Walking around Suttons Bay and driving past the amazing Japanese house!

And here we are. Savouring the last morning and the amazing COOL! It will all end with a porch party at the Fergessiens. Food, drink and laughter.

All in all, a grand summer!

A fitting epitaph

Good morning! I was reading a passage in a book called "Bold Women in Michigan History" by Virginia Law Burns. In a passage about the abolitionist, Elizabeth Chandler, I read this poem she penned....

"The Silver Glade"

Lay me not, when I die, in the place of the dead,
With the dwellings of man round my resting place spread
But amidst the still forest, unseen and alone,
When the waters go by with a murmuring tone;
Where the wild bird above me may move its dark wing,
And the flowers I have loved from my ashes may spring.

As I think about my mother, whose ashes rest in the columbarium at Jefferson Avenue Presbyterian Church alongside those of my father's, I think this might have been her wish as well. We did take a portion of her remains, about a month after she passed, and spread them on the beach of Good Harbor Bay and out into Lake Michigan.

I think also of my friend, Kimber, who passed away just a year ago only 2 weeks shy of her 48th birthday. I visit her grave occasionally and I am always struck by the beauty of the cemetery ...and the complete waste of space! I think I may be more closely aligned with Miss Chandler's view. No offense to those who favor traditional burial but it is not for me.

Just what I was thinking today. Carry on.

Just in case you missed it!

Sleeping Bear Dunes, Michigan Voted Good Morning America's 'Most Beautiful Place' - ABC News

August....again

Greetings readers!


So here we are again in the confusing month of August. Why would I say that..? If I were to read over my blog entries from the last several years, I would see that pattern. Go ahead and read the August entries ... I'll wait.


Ready? See what I mean? It's the vacation month! Now, don't get me wrong, the Europeans have it totally right! I would like to take this entire month off for vacation. Maybe it would make me a more relaxed and motivated person. But there's the American angle to it. Not doing enough equals guilt. I never quite let that go. Maybe, as I approach my 50th year, I need to work hard on giving that up!

This past week has been a relaxed work week. Sure I have had students but no summer camp work till next week. I have traveled with my family up north to see my husband perform...check this out! And my favorite place on the earth...

Anyway...oh wait! Here is another great link!!

Okay, great! This was an entry that was supposed to talk about my feelings of anxiety of a slower paced month. What it is ending up to be is an ode to Northern Michigan and all that I love about it!

Okay...so that is a better read! Enjoy the links and enjoy sleeping in. I know I have!

SUMMER READING LIST - so far

COMPLETED (My own personal Book Club selections!) I hope this sparks you to pick up one of these fun books to tuck into your beach bag this season! Enjoy!!

HIDING IN THE SPOTLIGHT - a musical prodigy’s story of survival 1941 - 1946
Historic story of amazing skill and heroic efforts to survive. Written by the heroine's son Greg Dawson, it's a great read and I very much enjoyed it! It covers a most amazing true story of a young woman and her sister who used their piano skills to make it out of the horrors of the concentration camps.

THE PACT by Jodi Picoult
A little slow moving but lovely story of young love that cannot survive one girl’s obsession with suicide. I love her books and this was not my favorite but worth a summer read.

BENEATH A MARBLE SKY by John Shors
Great love story set against the history of the Taj Mahal. Was sad to see the end of this one. This uses history and builds a great story on bits of real lives.

MAJOR PETTIGREW’S LAST STAND by Helen Simonson
Great look into English life and an autumn romance. Very sweet!

ENCORE PROVENCE – New adventures in the South of France by Peter Mayle
More fun in the sleepy villages of Provence. His books are such fun.

MESSENGER – the legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs by Jeni Stepanek
A tearjerker and an amazing story of strength and an angel. If you don't cry several times as you read then you have a heart of stone. This is an account that will remind you to savor every day.

THE SHADOW OF THE WIND by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. This was an extremely enjoyable read of intrigue, mystery and romance and I would highly recommend it. Set is Barcelona this is an amazing tale that takes its' time revealing the twists and turns. A great read!

THE PIANO TUNER by Daniel Mason
A book with an unsatisfying ending. If this were made into a movie you would leave the theater thinking…”really”? It is a good read…just not the best ending.

EAST OF THE SUN by Julia Gregson
Set in India in the 20s, it follows three women who come from different backgrounds and all experience a different piece of Indian culture. Nicely written and a great reminder of the faulty thinking of .."the grass is always greener..."

Summer Traditions!

Here is how every summer starts on Long Lake!

July 4th

This is a great shot of Mal and I taken by my friend, Marci, on Memorial Day. Here we are, just days from the 2nd biggest summer holiday and I can't believe Summer is, once again, racing by. I think Shirley MacLaine said it best... We are all feeling like things are speeding up as we go into the once in a lifetime alignment of the planets.

Don't you feel it? Whew.

This Sunday - the 3rd - would have been my father's 90th birthday. What a shame he is not here to see it...but would he have been up to it? He often complained how things were a lot harder once he hit 80. (A fact my mother never accepted until she hit 80!) He made it to 84 before his body gave out. I sure miss him. He passed away on 04-05-06. Easy to remember, eh?

So here we are. Those left behind and struggling to stay in the stream without drowning in it. I hope you can see, in this picture, what keeps me afloat.

Happy 4th of July, y'all!

Garage sale ...and forward

Our garage sale. Sigh! A little over three weeks ago we held a garage sale. My first ever!! My neighbor, Nicole, came and worked it with me and that was a big help. We ran it from Thursday to Sunday with time off for church. My mother had talked about having a garage sale, the last couple of years of her life. She was really feeling the burden of her “things”, at that point. I was so very glad that she never had to come to the end of the money road. She would have been mortified. I know she was so afraid of becoming a “burden” to us. I always hated hearing her say that.

Anyway, I digress. Our sale went well and here’s the kicker. Because the weather was rainy on that Friday we extended it to Sunday - June 12th. Mom’s birthday! So ironic, eh? We still have a ways to go to get things cleared out. Purple Heart will get a lot of the things we did not sell.

I “Craigslisted’ one thing that I had that did not sell. It is an antique Chinese Wedding Basket. My friend, who lived in Hong Kong for about 9 years, brought it to me, on the plane, when I got married to Hubby #1.. It is a three tiered decorated wooden box that, traditionally, people filled with food or presents to the wedding couple and then presented to them.. I got any email and later a phone call from a lady who said she was a casting agent for a TV show called “Hardcore Pawn”. This, apparently, is a reality show – on TruTV – that is based on a Detroit pawn shop and the family who owns it. They also buy antiques and this woman searches for interesting items to present on the show. Their TV crew films there and this woman sets up folks to come with cool items to sell. They don’t tell the owners which are the walk ins and which are the set ups and so they can film their true reactions. She has asked if I would like to be on the show with my “basket”. I would show up at the place and see if they wanted to buy it from me. Haven’t heard back from her to see if the show producers wanted to go with it. Stay tuned!

This past week, we completed the first session of the Summer Theatre Camp series. Twenty five Kindergarten to third graders assembled and we worked with them to produce a show this last Friday. Mal worked it with me and ran the spot light fore the show! They did a marvelous job!! We both had to miss most of the first day as I needed to get Mal in to see the doctor. She had a bad case of strep. Ug!

Two Sundays ago,Father’s Day,was Music Sunday at our church. This is the end of the choir season and the last hurrah for the musicians till September. We go to a soloist format till then. This also signals the one year mark for Steve and he outdid himself! We were able to pull off some rather amazing music. He put it all together. In place of the sermon he pulled a number of readings and pieces that surrounded the idea of Creation as mediation.

Here is what we did..
Prelude "The Bringer of Peace" Gustav Holst – this was the organ prelude
Introit "Look at the World" John Rutter

And then…. Musical Meditation "Reflections on God in Creation" with readings by Susan Palo Cherwien, Gwen Frostic and from scripture
Not sure if you know the name, Gwen Frostic. (I pulled this off the Internet – it says it better than I could!)

Frostic was born in Sandusky, Michigan to Sara and Fred Frostic. When she was 8 months old she suffered from an unknown illness which left her with lifelong symptoms similar to cerebral palsy. Despite physical difficulties Frostic showed an early interest and aptitude for art. In June 1924 she graduated from Theodore Roosevelt High School in Wyandotte, where she was known for using a band saw to create event posters for her school. She continued her studies at Eastern Michigan University earning her teacher's certificate and gaining membership in Alpha Sigma Tau sorority. In 1926 she transferred to Western Michigan University and left in 1927 without completing her degree. She continued her artistic endeavors in metal and plastic, while occasionally teaching, but with the war came a lack of metal to work with and she turned to linoleum block carving. Frostic then turned her linoleum block carving into stationery goods and prints which led to her starting her own printing company, Presscraft Papers. In the early 1950s Frostic opened up a shop selling her prints, books, and other items in Frankfort and in 1960 she bought 40 acres of land in Benzonia with the intention of moving her and her shop. On April 26, 1964 her new shop was open for business and she lived there until her death in 2001.
Frostic was granted several honorary doctorates from Alma College, Eastern Michigan University, Western Michigan University, Michigan State University, and Ferris State University. In 1978 the governor of Michigan declared May 23 as Gwen Frostic Day in Michigan. In 1986 she was inducted into the Michigan Women's Hall of Fame.
Western Michigan University named its school of art after her in 2007, after her 13 million dollar bequest to the University in 2001. the Gwen Frostic School of Art. While given as an unrestricted bequest, the funds have primarily been used for scholarships for students and for the benefit of the arts and creative writing departments in particular, in respect to her lifelong pursuits.

Her prints are still used to create lovely cards, books and prints and her shop is a lovely nature preserve as well. It was the Gwen Frostic prints in his apartment that first told me that Steve was a quality guy! Mom and Dad loved her stuff and we always went to her place when we went up north. She was an amazing woman!!


"SONGS OF NATURE" Robert Young/Lew Sarett – Two sections "God is at the Anvil" -"Hang Me Among Your Winds" - really lovely pieces!


"FROM LIGHT TO LIFE" Aaron McDermid/Susan Palo Cherwien -"Earth" -"Fire" -"Water" -"Wind"

This was the killer piece. Lovely, simple poetry and very difficult music. Written for a choir of 50 (actually the National Lutheran Choir) we did it with our group of 19!! The four sections examine the four elements as God’s creation without worshiping Creation itself. It went very very well considering how long we had to get it ready!

"The Rain is Over and Gone" Paul Halley - a large part is my solo (It always beings down the house!)

Offertory "The Creation: In Native Worth and Honor Clad" Haydn (We have a great tenor!)

And to finish… Steve on the organ Postlude "Festival March" Humphrey Stark

It was a memorable day and the congregation was so moved. I was proud to bursting over all that Stephen accomplished. By the way, I sang very well too! We were the stars of the day – and humbled by the outpouring of love from our brothers and sisters. It made up for all the craziness of the week. We felt very blessed and very loved – rich indeed!

The one bad note was that Mallie had to stay home that morning. She was not at all comfortable when we got home and we got her in to the doctor and on medication. She recovered nicely once we got some meds into her.

That's the latest and greatest! This morning has been a delight - cool, quiet (sleeping child) a good book, a good cuppa and all is well. Happy Summer y'all!

GARAGE SALE

YOW! Today was the first day of our garage sale and it was hard work! Two more days and a whole lot more business please!

Observations:
It felt like putting on a "show" - stage dressing and all
More men than women came today. Hmm. Always thought girls were more into these kinds of things.
IT DID NOT RAIN! Big plus.
It's better to do one with your friend...a sale I mean.
It's a great way to meet neighbors!

Keep your fingers crossed we do well this weekend! Momma needs a new pair of shoes (read "pay the electric bill")!

Ever seen "ELF"?

This is Miss Mal's reaction to her first taste of Good n'Plenty candy.

Kinda like when Buddy the Elf decides that the fruit perfume spray should be tasted when offered at a mall...!

I have to admit I thought she might not like it. It was the chance I missed when she was a baby. You know what I mean. When you give a baby a lemon slice?

Get it?

Need a pep talk? Listen to this little guy!

Places to go, people to see.

No time to really sit and write this morning... Although I wish I could. It's so lovely outside my window.

I just wanted to say that I enjoy reading your comments so please, feel free to comment all over the place. It's good to know that I'm not alone here.

Although, I have to admit, I'd still write if no one came by to read it. It's in my nature to want to purge myself, from time to time, and ponder.

Mother's Day 2011

I wanted to reproduce Mallie's card, in part, to me for Mother's Day. She included a poem.

"Be of good cheer on this day,
as I hope, and wish and pray...
that you know how much you're loved,
by people around us and also above!"

Sweet, eh? Saturday night we enjoyed the company of Steve's parents, brother, cousin and cousin's girlfriend. We met up for dinner as they were all in town to head out of town! Steve's cousin is getting married this week in....

ICELAND!

So everyone - minus us - is in lovely Iceland as I write this. I am envious but very excited for them all, especially my brother-in-law who has never traveled internationally before. So cool! We had a lovely evening of dinner and then desserts at a fantastic middle eastern coffeehouse in West Bloomfield.

Sunday we headed off to church and then home for a quick lunch and then off to the Farmington Players Barn to see "The Producers." Fantastic time and fun to see old friends. We were expecting a quiet evening at home but...

We had to get a new sump pump. I guess I'm happy that Steve discovered it early. I remember all too well the last time the sump pump died. After all the flurry of activity, we settled down to takeout Mexican and watching "Beauty and the Beast" courtesy of my brother-in-law. We just finished producing the stage show and I had never seen the "real thing".

Sigh. All in all, a good day..and a half! Happy Mother's Day to you. And a special nod to the celestial balcony for my mum.

Take a listen.

My talented family

Here is Mallie, playing her piano recital pieces with Mr. Stephen, at her annual studio recital!

Easter...and all

We had a lovely week, even with all the rushing about. My friend, Anna, posed the question on Facebook.."What is Easter to you?" Some of the answers were what one would expect...

"He is risen...He is risen indeed."

"Well I think that - like religion - it's an individual choice. Either you believe and, therefore - bunnies are unnecessary, or you don't."

"A special day to spend with families and friends, which just happens to be on the Lord's Day (imagine!) which is my favorite day of the week. :)"

"It's rebirth, redemption, saving grace!"
And this...."Just another drunk week-end. Somehow I'm missing something."

I wrote this..."As in all festival days, it is the gathering of family and slowing down to look at each other. I love the whole walk up to Easter. Holy Week makes you stop and step away from the world and into your heart and mind where you can hear God speaking to you."

This was also Stephen's first Lent as Director of Music and he did a great job! Maundy Thursday service was lovely. The choir stepped up and all anthems went very well - after the heating blowers turned off!! We had a great time with our little band of 7 on Good Friday singing. It's so great to sing with old friends. And then Easter. Before our regular service there is a short gathering in the garden. My friend Jeff and I came down to represent the choir. The ashes of members of our church are scattered in that garden. We were indeed surrounded by the saints. We listened to their names being read as well as those in the Columbarium and have the chance to speak the names of other loved ones who have passed. I feel so blessed that my parents will be remembered, every year, and their names read. A little part of them will hang in the air, for a moment every year, in the Spring. Our church looked lovely. The brass did well and the choir sounded great! Even with a medical emergency in the middle of the service all returned to normal and we were able to continue after a few minutes.

Saturday was spent at home and we had fun just hanging out.

After Easter service we met up with our friends and had a fantastic lunch at a Chinese buffet. Just the ticket! We headed back to their place and relaxed over some wonderful adult beverages as the girls played in a nearby park.

It is good to make your way along Holy Week; stopping to pause a bit,taking it all in, slowing our pace to be in sync with Nature and God. I think that's why we have holidays, really. God loves us to be with those we love. To stop and look around. To listen for His/Her voice and notice all that is good.

Thanks for that!

Today I know fully...

Today is the day I have long been dreading. After months of preparation, my childhood home is no longer accessible to me. The locks have been changed and it has passed out of my hands. If you have been reading this adventure so far, you will know that this has been a long time coming. My mother passed away on 11/22/09. I have been cleaning out that house for 14 months and I was done on March 22nd. However, I still had the key that opened the door. I still had access to my old house. Today that changed. I am shocked to feel what I am feeling. Really? After all this time and I knew it was coming. Wow. Just goes to show how we are never really ready to say goodbye.

Yesterday I saw one of my idols on "Oprah". Shirley MacLaine has written alot about life, love and reincarnation. It was a reminder, as she said, that no one truly dies. I have always believed that and now I have to live it. The reality of it is harder to grasp when you miss those people so much. My parents, my friend Kim....all people that I can no longer see.

My parents' house is empty now. Completely. Here is the before and after..

Sorry about some of the duplicates... I can't seem to get them right so I will leave it be.

Here's a quote that has been rolling around me head...

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Amen.

Onward and upward.

An anniversary, of sorts.

It’s been a month, or so, since I last wrote. As usual, we are twirling with things going on. My big news is that I finished cleaning and clearing out my parents’ house. I’m not sure this has completely sunken in yet. I took some pictures, that last day, and even they look surreal to me. It was a long winter. Working in the house took its toll. I ended up with a very bad head/chest cold. All those months of working in the cold – you may remember that I mentioned that we decided not to buy another shipment of oil so we were unable to use the heat after the last of the heating oil ran out in November – and in the dust...and in the tears of this project… Well, it makes sense that my body should break down once the task was completed. The mortgage company who bought the house at an open auction has not taken possession of it yet.

What have I learned after this 16 month period since my mother left us? I have spent this time looking at every aspect of their lives. I have sifted through all their possessions. Sometimes it was extremely uncomfortable – my mother’s journals contained a lot of information about her thoughts and feelings. I came across a very large collection of letters. A large portion of them were from a very close friend in England that may very well have been my mother’s soul mate and who communicated with her from 1944 till his death in 1999. I had no idea what large a part he played in my mother’s life. I do know that she did suffer from deep regret that she dismissed his proposal of marriage all those years ago. I know their relationship caused problems in my parents’ marriage – even as far back as my early childhood. I know that he was a confidante and a strong supporter of my mother and the key link to her home and early years. I also know that my parent’s marriage survived for 60 years so I guess the “proof is in the pudding.” Certainly, it was hard to read those love letters – for that is what they were. It gave me a tremendous insight to who my mother was – beyond being my mother. Some may think that I should never have read them. The fact remains that this person was so important to my mother that she saved all of his letters – all of them – and it is a key to my mother’s life. It gives clues to her childhood that I would have known nothing about. There are also all the letters my father wrote after they were married and separated by the US Army. She kept them all. I also have all the letters she wrote him as she waited with other war brides in a little internment camp yearning to begin this extreme adventure of a new life in America. Loads of letters.

Some things I also discovered - I found out that my mother was a very generous woman when it came to charity. Although my parents never had a lot of money and lived very frugally she was always able to give to various organizations. We were never aware that money was so tight in our home as she was such a good manager. I could have used a lot more of her guidance there. I was able to see the depth of her work outside our house in the community; something I was always aware of but never really understood. I didn’t remember her receiving the Key to the City of Livonia yet I now have it. I came across so many newspaper articles and letters of thanks from groups and individuals. The PTA on both the State and local levels. The Library Commission and all the work she did to support the building of a library in our community. So many things.

In her dozens of journals I could see her deep commitment to homemaking, her deep interest in her garden and all the wildlife there. It will take me a long time to wade through all the genealogy work she had compiled over the years. I always knew that she was a fascinating person but now it’s all there for me to see and take in. She had a real interest in the world and what she could do in it.

I waded through so much stuff – and all of it interesting! Telegrams that told me when my English grandparents passed away. Telegrams from those same folks sending their love and support to my parents on the occasions of my birth and that of my brother. Letter upon letter from my English grandparents over the years filled with longing and loneliness to their only daughter. Very touching and sometimes so very very sad.

My mother’s abiding love of food and cooking were evident in all the recipes and cookbooks, certainly, but also in all the articles and magazines and restaurant menus! She had probably a dozen from New Orleans restaurants alone! Journal entries of places they found in the East when they traveled in the early years. So very sad when I think of how little she weighed when she passed away. She couldn’t eat much that last year.

I looked at every thing. I wanted to be the person that noticed all they did and wanted. Does that make sense? I wanted to be the observer so that nothing of their amazing lives would be forgotten. I was the one who got to see their house – bought in 1955 – as they first saw it. Empty and full of promise and possibilities and hope. I tried so very hard to throw things away. I took pictures of things that I wanted to have evidence of and I threw out the rest. It got to be overwhelming after awhile. I worked hard to separate out what was important and what I wanted to keep just so some of their essence would still exist. I guess I have not fully embraced that they are both gone.

Which brings it back to me. I am working with what I have left now and how I continue without their safety net. My 49^th birthday was earlier in March. It was a very sober day, for the most part. My second since my mother’s death. I am already working on plans to meet friends and stay with another in New Orleans to celebrate my 50^th, next year. I have a handful of gals who will also be turning 50 and I think New Orleans is truly fitting as my parents’ also celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary there. I feel that this is the halfway point in my life – if I ‘m lucky! Now I have to decide who I am without their guidance. I’m sure my brother feels otherwise, seeing as he left their nest so early on. I envy that part. But the fact that I had almost 50 years with them – well it hardly bears comparison. I think this process will take some time. The bottom line to all of this is the fact that I have more questions than answers. I see my lovely parents as full and complex individuals and I somehow wished I had listened more closely and written more things down.

I looked at the calendar just now and remembered that my dad passed away on April 5^th, 2006. It isn’t hard to remember 4-5-06. Wow. No wonder this day I have felt slightly out of sorts. He would have turned 90 this summer. Amazing to think of this as I am writing today.

I found lots of photos and I did not throw many of those away. When there is more time, perhaps in the summer, I will take the time to sort them and make some remembrance books. My mother did well to label a lot of them but I will have to be strong and throw out the ones of people and places I don’t know. There is only so much storage in my house and garage. Sigh.

Gee, now that that is all finished..... what do I do with the second part of my life? Time to reexamine and re-emerge as something beyond the cocoon.

More amazing stuff

Although I do write for my blog I do also use it as a storage space for amazing things that I have seen. This is one of those amazing things.. Enjoy!

Another really cute card

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/LTCVMFQuLTUN1K9OQl2e


Thanks for the laugh, Mike!

Just had to share this.... ;)

Clearing out

"She was never a salt and pepper gal." This was a line that got me laughing yesterday. I was in the kitchen of my parents' house and passing the time, as I threw stuff out, with my longtime gal-pal, Michele. She is in New Orleans and we were having a cell phone visit - more than a conversation - where we hang out together....via the cell.

I know that this process has been the subject of way too many blog entries. That's the beauty of a personal blog and why I started here in the first place, way back in 2007. This is a place to empty out my heart when it gets too heavily laden with life's struggles.

Ready for a dump?

I am in the last phase of this year long odyssey. Finishing up in the kitchen, I opened a cabinet and found alot of my mother's spices. I have written before about her love of cooking, right? I threw away Alum, Pickling Spice, Mace, Garam Marsala, Mediterranean Basil Leaves, Fennegreek, Anise...to name a very, very few. Any of these have you scrambling for Google? Add to that various vinegars - blood orange comes to mind!

Anyway, I started singing a song to Michele - appropriately county western - about how my mother was never a "salt and pepper girl".... We then decided that women from my mother's era would be called a "Gal" so we started again.

I wish I had written down some of what I threw out. It's those little things that slip away that bother me. After all, Life is made up of such flotsam and jetsam, right? We all understand the big picture of Death but it's all the stuff in the margins that have us scrambling.

Which reminds me. I saw a show on hoarding, recently. The man was helping this woman with her truly out-of-control house. He gave her 5 minutes to grab what she found to be essential. What did she grab? Photos off the wall. In a house CRAMMED FULL of stuff she grabbed at the memories of those who had gone on before her. He looked at her and asked...."Is there anything else here that you deem essential? I will give you one more minute." Stopping for a moment, she shook her head. Wow.

I looked through dozens of old checks two days ago, all neatly boxed and ranging from 1983 - 1989. I was able to find some checks that my father had signed: a bit of a rarity in our household as Mum ran the Financial Train. Sweet to see, though. I was struck by all the charity giving my mother participated in. I always thought it was something she did in her later years but now I see it was an ongoing passion. Animal charities, children's charities, even money given to an organ fund! (My husband would be proud.) .

If there is any advice to be pulled from all this it's this. ... If you are even thinking of sitting down with an elderly relative..."gee, we should sit down with Great Aunt Agnes and record her talking about the family tree or life growing up in World War 2.." DO IT THIS WEEKEND.

Seriously. Stephen and I often talked about sitting down with my mother and a recorder and letting her reminisce about life in pre-war England, traveling here and setting up house in 1950's America, who these people were in this or that photograph, etc.. You know the story. This weekend turned into next weekend and then...poof. The opportunity was taken from us.

Please don't delay. Make that date for coffee or tea this week and spend the time.

Time itself will make you happy you did!

The last time

My daughter lost her last tooth last night. Here is her note to the Tooth Fairy.


Dear Tooth Fairy,

Could I keep my tooth? It is the last time and something special. So I say farewell.

Sincerely, Mallory


The Tooth Fairy left money and a message...

Be good.
x

If I won the Lottery...

Organizing the Bookcase

Who knew it would be so hard?

I have worked through several companies and charities and am having the hardest time donating stuff! Really? you ask. Yup.

I am nearing the deadline of clearing out my parents' house and still have furniture that needs a home. I got to thinking and decided ..."what about the appliances too?" Surely, especially in my home state, there are folks who can use and NEED these things..? I called one dealer and offered to send him photos of everything.

He came back with.."We really don't see anything we want but here's what we will do for you. We will send a truck out, clear out the house, give you $100 and a donation slip, made out to you, for $500."

Glad he is doing me the favor.

I know that he will turn around and sell all the things to other people. He doesn't want to give me much for these things. I am okay with all of that. But don't make it out to be a favor to me ...taking all this stuff off my hands. Just tell me you plan to make a profit and I will at least feel like you are treating me like a thinking person. Come on!

Nope, I have decided to donate as much as I can to charity and that is very hard!!! I found several sites online. One looked promising! A "Furniture Bank" for needy families. Perfect! They will come to you. Drawback - not in the county that my folks' house is in.

NEXT!

Then I found www.DonationTown.org. This group is made up of regular folks who kept seeing a need. They hook up folks looking to donate to the charities that are looking to receive. I am waiting for a reply from Habitat for Humanity, at present. They run two stores in my area that sell items to needy folks for 25 - 75% under cost. It's called a ReStore! I would rather work with the Furniture Bank but - and OH it's a Snow Day here so they are closed for the day - I don't think they will work with me. I will try tomorrow to be sure. It sure sounded like a great fit. Sigh.

Anyway, the old standbys of Purple Heart and the Salvation Army don't do pick ups of larger items in my state. I have already given a ton of stuff to Purple Heart ( it was my mother's favorite ) but that was primarily clothing and bedding. To date...about 30 bags of stuff!!

I have also worked my local freecycle groups and have moved several things that way. That works great for a porch pickup. I have brought everything to my house so people aren't stopping by my folks' house. That made me feel a little weird so my porch is the best solution.

Wow. I am working hard to do this right so I can feel that I have taken care of things the way June and Leonard would have preferred it.

Any one have any ideas out there? Love - LOVE - to hear them!! (Like this lovely oil painting? It could be yours!)

Loved the sound on this one...!

http://www.youtube.com/wxdogs#p/a/u/0/4WVTG3dXuVM

Sad Day/Glad Day

Today my parents' piano was moved to my friends' house. That part is great. This lovely instrument (circa 1930) has lived in the basement of my folks' house for many decades - it lived upstairs in the living room till I was born. Today it sees the light of day as it makes it's way to Plymouth. The good news is it will be loved and played - quite probably by my husband at the next party! I am glad we gave our friends this gift. They are very excited.

So why do I feel like all the color has drained out of my day?