Life is amazing. How much of a roller coaster we are on. Yesterday I was dog tired but happy. Tonight I am tired because I have been crying all day.
Do people really know the power of words..? Really??
I am also keenly aware this evening that I have lots and lots of self doubt. I have worked long and hard on this but to - seemingly - no avail because someone planted some seeds of doubt today ...
and they took root.
Someone I love and trusted wrote some very cutting words to me today. I wish I could step back and say.."whew, he is really having a crappy day.." No. Instead I took all those words to heart and it was devastating.
I am walking away from a position I have had for the better part of a decade because of those words. And it was also hinted at that others felt this same way about me.
Wow.
And no one has said a thing to me. Is everybody afraid to speak the truth? Is everybody looking for others to rip up and glad that they are not the one being judged? I can't be that way anymore. If you don't like what I'm doing then tell me or let me be.
I believe this. I'd rather be punched in the face in the light of day than kicked in the ass in the dark. And having a combination of both does not count.
Okay, so we all talk, don't we? But about those we love....do we really complain for MONTHS and then let 'er rip? That's cowardice in my book.
Whatever happened to..."we need to talk - pull up a chair".
3 comments:
Hi Rose. You need to call me. That's what friends are for. I can so relate. I had a 'friend' that I thought I knew like the back of my hand. She was born a year after me and we knew each other from her day one. After high school she moved away to live with her boyfriend and shortly after I received a 'Dear Jane' letter. SMACK! out of the blue. Never knew she had any problems with out best-friendedness. The tough part was that she remained great friends with someone that I introduced her to and thought that the three of us were the 'Three Musketeers.' That one hit hard and still stirs a sad and bitter feeling in me. I wish I could TOTALLY expel it from my being but it left too large a hole. Please call. You're a terrific, warm, positive person and I don't like the thought of someone hurting you this way.
Love you. -Karen
edit --- 'with OUR bestfriendedness.'
Hi Rose,
Sorry to hear that happened. I've been having problems with a friend lately too. Like you said it's all a matter of sitting down and talking it out. Your friends and family are here for you.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving!
Love,
Mike
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